Chapter 16

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30 minutes have gone by since Miguel has texted me. He hasn't shown up at my house and neither has Hawk. I can't believe he cheated on me, I wish he would hear me out. I never cheated on him and I've tried so hard to talk to him but it's kinda hard being stuck in your bed.

Every now and then my mom comes into my room and checks my oxygen levels and gives me water. No conversation, just looks at me and walks out. I have Grey's Anatomy playing on my tv even though I'm not even paying attention to it, all it is is doctors hooking up anyway. It's already 10 pm and I haven't heard from anyone. I shove my face into a pillow and just scream, I wish I could just get up and walk around. I don't even want to check my phone, it's just going to make me more upset. I shut my phone off and shove it under my pillow.

I lay on my back and just stare at my ceiling, thoughts running wild in my head. Silent tears start streaming down my face, god I can't believe all of this is happening right now. And plus my mom's worried about how much the chemo is affecting me that she's sending me to the hospital for a checkup tomorrow after school, I'm sure it's nothing.

As I'm stuck in my thoughts, stuff is hitting my window. I'm too tired to check what it is so I just yell go away. Nothing answers, must be a bird or something. Something continues to hit my window so I try to sit up as much as I can and I see a red mohawk climbing up a ladder to my balcony. 

"Great just what I need right now?" I mutter to myself. "What am I, Rapunzel? Do I need to let down my hair because it's not coming" I yell out to him. Once he reaches the top, he opens the doors allowing himself into my room. He has tears stained on his face, his eyes all puffy with his mohawk slightly falling. He stands at the door, staring at me with no words. 

"Well?" I ask.

"Lillian i-" he says.

I laugh, "You what? You're sorry, yea I bet"

He frowns, "I am. Tory told me everything that happened. I'm sorry, I was just so angry-"

"it's fine," I tell him. It's not fine but with how much he has changed the past few weeks, it's all I've expected. I knew this was coming, he would do whatever to get away from me and when he got the chance, he took it. I lay back down on my bed turning over to lay on my shoulder, the opposite way of him.

His eyes travel around the room, spotting all the wires and oxygen bag and tank.

"What's going on?" He asks, starting to walk over to me. As I hear footsteps, "Don't come over here. You just cheated on me and that's what you're worried about?" I say, rolling my eyes.

"Lillian please just talk to me. You wanted me to talk and I'm here. I just want to know you're ok" He says not listening to me and sitting on the corner of the bed, "Please".

I sit back up, "But that's the difference, Hawk. You ACTUALLY cheated on me. You came here because you knew you did something wrong, I didn't do anything wrong with Cameron, Tory wanted him to come, not me. He was the one getting all up in my face But instead of talking to me after you cooled down or listening to my side, you went off and made out with some girl at a party" Tears start forming in his eyes. I don't have any sympathy for him, he messed up.... again.

"I thought you would be at the party, I was just so angry I didn't know what to do. I wanted nothing more than to get back at you. With Tory not saying anything, it made me think you were. When I kissed the girl i- " he pauses, "I regretted it right away. It wasn't you and wasn't right. I really am sorry Lillian. I don't expect you to forgive me right away"

"Yea while you were getting your "payback" I'm laying in my bed, sick as hell, wondering what's going to happen next." His eyes shoot to mine.  Tears start forming in my eyes, "I trusted you. I trusted you" I sob into my pillowcase. He continues to look at me with tears streaming down his face. "I miss Eli". When the words flow out of my mouth, his expression changes.

"I'm still Eli!" I stop him.

"What do you not understand, Hawk! No, you aren't. Eli would have never cheated on me, never hunt Demetri down in a mall, and wouldn't beat someone upon sight. Eli would have been honest with me, made sure I was ok, bring me my favorite drink and even ditch party's to hang out with me and his best friend. I love the new you but this is too much".

Darkness forms in his eyes, "Well "Eli's" best friend is no longer a best friend when he tells the whole school your biggest secret." My eyes go wide. I turn back to face him. "What?" I ask.

"Yea, you know what I'm talking about." he gets up and comes to sit next to me on the bed. I put my hand out to stop him but he pushes it away. 

"I don't know what you want me to say, Lillian. I'm sorry. I knew you got your chemo but you've been fine before so I didn't think I'd have to worry about it."

"Yeah well look at me now. Go home." I say looking down at my hands.

"No, I'm not leaving you," he says trying to grab my hand.

"But I'm leaving you. We're done."

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