Chapter 21

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Today I wake up and it feels like I'm repeating yesterday and the day after that like I can't hit skip. I wake up, take medication and go back to bed. I never feel like getting up anymore, I have nothing to look forward to.

Yesterday when Tory and I talked we planned on meeting up. In a couple of hours, she's going to come over. It will be nice to see her but at the same time, all I want to do is sleep. I'd rather have her come here than go anywhere else. I'm in so much pain, I don't want to do anything. I decide to stay in gray sweatpants and an oversized sweatshirt.

"Oh look who left their room!" My mom says excitedly. 

"That makes me want to go back and stay in my room" I groan. 

She laughs, "What do you need dear?" 

"My friends coming over later. If she knocks just send her to my room please" She nods and I walk back to my room. Her face went so bright when I said a friend was coming over. She knows how down I've been the past couple of days and not wanting to see anyone.

I lay in my bed watching After We Collided. What a good way to make myself feel worse about this Hawk situation, watching a romantic movie. 

"You look.... nice," Tory says, scaring me. 

I laugh, "Yea thanks you don't need to lie"

"What's going on?" she asks coming and sitting on my bed watching the cord from oxygen and iv.

I sit up on my bed, "Well first off Hawks ignoring me. We got back together and now he never wants to do anything or even talk. I mean who's boyfriend doesn't want to talk to their girlfriend like am I that bad? It is because I'm sick? What if-" I ignore talking about how I'm feeling and get straight to the point.

she cuts me off "Lil-" I put my hand out to pause her.

"Wait. What if he's with the girl from the party. God, there's a million what if's. They're so much more but I don't want to talk about it."

She frowns, "It's Hawk. He's like that, he doesn't know what he wants. Maybe it's everything with Miguel making him lose himself. He's just a boy, Lillian. You don't need him to live. You need to get out of this bed and room and live your life."

I smile, "Yea if only it was that easy to tell myself. I don't need him to live my life but he has me so wrapped around his finger that I lose it after he doesn't talk to me. And that's not the only thing keeping me strapped to this bed, my chemo is like killing me." I pause. "I'm sorry I keep talking about me. How are you?". Her smile fades and lays back on my bed.

"Not well. My mom's getting worse, I don't get a break, I come home and have to make dinner for my mom and brother. They're the only reason I'm not in juvie. I can't even pay the rent on time."

"Tory I'm so sorry. Have you tried to see Miguel?"

She sighs, "No. I don't know what to say. it's my fault he's in there"

"No, it's Robby's. He kicked him off the railing."

"Yea but I started it!" She yells "I'm sorry. I can't sleep knowing he's in a coma and it could be my fault." she sits up.

"Is there any way I can help?" I ask

"Yes, a beach trip is needed. I have Saturday off" She turns looking at me excitedly.

"Deal" I smile.

Skip to Saturday

I decided to take Tory's advice and leave my room. She's right, I don't need him to live my life. Today We're going to the beach but first, I'm going to check to see if Johnny's home again. He still hasn't answered any calls. I decided to drive myself to go over his. I knock on his door and no response. This man hasn't been home in a week. I haven't seen him since the dojo. I pause for a second trying to think where he'll be. I look through his window seeing beers everywhere...a bar! I get back into my car and drive over to a shitty chain restaurant. I don't spot his car anywhere but I still decide to walk in. I go through the door and see a blonde dirty guy sitting at the bar, damnit Johnny. I walk over to him and pull out the chair next to him, smacking my hand on his back.

"So this is what we're doing now? Sitting at a bar drinking our feelings away." 

He scoffs, "What are you doing here?" 

"I could ask you the same thing. How long have you been here?" he laughs and takes another sip of his beer. "Come on you need to go home," I say grabbing his hand. 

"What are you my mom?" he laughs. 

"No, but I am your daughter." He finally puts his beer down and looks at me seriously. 

"Look at you finally admitting it" He scoffs 

I shake my head, "We're not having this conversation here, let's go, Johnny!" I yell and he finally stands up.

 "Fine. Take me home" I nod and walk him to the car. We both get into the car and he passes out in the front seat. I'm not surprised to see him getting drunk. It's been a rough week and he's lost a lot and now he's worried about losing Miguel. He was finally figuring everything out with his life and it all just went to hell in one day. We arrive at his place and he gets out and walks inside. 

I drive back home and get ready to go to the beach with Tory. I throw on a blue bikini with a t-shirt and shorts. I grab a tall and throw it in my medical bag and hop into my car. We decided that I'd pick her up so she wouldn't have to walk. I drive to her apartment and she's waiting at the door. She gets in and we drive to the beach. It's so hot out so we decide to walk the boardwalk first the go into the water. I leave my shorts on over top of my bottoms but take my shirt off showing my bikini top, she does the same. 

"Have you talked to him yet?" Tory asks. 

I sigh, "No and I don't plan on it. I finally got myself out of bed all I need now is for him to run back and drag me back to that hole". 

She stutters, "Well um not to ruin the vibe here but I see a red mohawk and a group of cobras right there." She points to the pizza place and there they are, Hawk, Rickenberger, and Assface all sitting at the table at the entrance facing the boardwalk.

I scoff "Great. Just keep walking. Maybe they won't notice us." She nods and doesn't talk so they won't hear us. Once we get closer to the pizza place we both hear assface speak.

"Isn't that Tory and Lillian?" Tory and I both look at each other quickly.

"Tory! Where you been!" He yells. She looks at me.

"I'm gonna go over. You can come if you want. I'll just be a minute" I nod and she walks over. I don't want to go over to them, they betrayed Johnny, and besides, they probably hate me because I'm on his side. Kreese probably put some form of bullshit in their head. I turn around and walk over to the ledge leaning over it watching the ocean. "Can she take any longer" I mumble to myself?

"Hey" A red mohawk stands next to me. Great. 

"Hi," I say, not turning to look at him.

"You coming back to Cobra Kai?" He asks. 

I scoff, "Are you serious. We haven't talked in a week and this is what you want to talk about?"

He lets out a breath, "You took Johnny's side. What else was I supposed to do. You're considered an enemy". 

I laugh, "An enemy, You're girlfriends the enemy. Do you even hear yourself?" 

"Sensei Kreese said that you're the enemy because of Johnny unless you come back. He says you'll always have a home at Cobra Kai" He says embarrassed. 

"Sensei Kreese said" I mock him. "I don't care what he says! He can shove it in a ditch. I'm not going back there after everything." 

"Don't talk about Sensei like that" he defends him.

"Then make a decision. Me or him." He's silent. He looks at me confused, not knowing what to choose. I scoff, "Yea that's what I thought"

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