Chapter 35

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he laughs, "I never said we'd talk about it now. Come to bed" He pats the spot next to him.

If he really thinks I'm going to sleep with him then he must be stupid. I walk over and he smirks at me. I grab extra pillows and create a border between us.

"You gotta be kidding me" He groans. I send him a quick sarcastic smile as I go into my closet to go change. That's the thing about us, we can't say away from each other. Our relationship has been so unhealthy recently and last night just set the whole thing off.

I walk into the bathroom to change because there's no way I'm changing in front of him. I mean technically we aren't even dating but I guess we could be friends, right? I throw on a sports bra and shorts and leave the bathroom. I walk into the kitchen, take my meds and walk back to my bedroom.

He turns his head and his eyes look my body up and down, "So you won't sleep next to me but you'll wear that".

I scoff, "You're in my house Hawk, I'll wear what I want." I walk over and climb into bed. He's just going to have to deal with the pillow boarder I made. I just don't get what he doesn't see. He's so trapped into Kreese's game, he won't believe what anyone else says. While I can see him turned on his side staring at me, I'm just laying on my back staring at the ceiling. I'm stuck, I love him so much and want to be around him all the time but it always turns into a fight. 

"Are you just going to stare at me like that all night?" I asked still looking at the ceiling.

He laughs, "Maybe. You're just so beautiful" He lifts his arm over the pillow in between us and starts twirling my hair around his finger.

"Don't do this, please" I plead. He is so good at this, he makes me feel bad for being upset because he says things like well....that. As much as I complain to him about things that need to change, he agrees but never helps to change them. I don't want him to change but he promised me karate wouldn't change him and it did.

"Look, I was just listening to Sensei Kreese's orders and besides you still went home with that dweeb" he complains and lets go of my hair.

"Then you should have told me about it. Hawk, a relationship is about trust. I should be able to trust you enough that you would tell me the truth. And you should trust me enough to know I'd never cheat on you with anyone else, even Cameron." I sit up and turn to face him, "I know you don't agree with me but Johnny is my father, I'm going to take his side no matter what. Not Kreese, Cobra kai, or even you could change that."

He groans and throws a pillow out of anger, "I do trust you! I just don't trust him. I don't care how mad at you I am or how mad you are at me, I'm your boyfriend! When you need a ride come to me, when you're upset, come to me, when you're struggling, come to me!" he takes a breath in, "Johnny didn't tell you he was your father for years until now, but I've been there for you since we were little. He let us down when we needed him the most."

"But I don't trust you!" I snap, "You kissed Moon the day we started talking! You left me alone at apple bees to beat up Demetri! You made out with a girl at some party! You stopped talking to me for almost a week because of Kreese! I mean god, I should have known the first day with Moon!" His face goes blank as the words come out of my mouth. Part of me feels bad for saying that but it's the truth and he needs to hear it.

He gulps, "You're leaving out a lot of contexts here Lillian".

"Then Let's see. You told me you liked me when we went to the park with everyone, we said we'd start talking. Were at the party and everyone is just hanging out and you're just making out with Moon on some log. That was you not me." I pause" Oh and when we went to apple bees, everyone was having a good time until you randomly said you had to go somewhere, never said where or what. You just left me there to find a ride home myself. You didn't tell me because you knew I'd be mad."

"Enough Lillian" He whispers.

I laugh, "Wait hear this one! You thought I cheated on you because of a picture and instead of asking me about it and hearing my story or even listening to Tory, you went and made out with some bitch at a party! I mean I knew-" He cuts me off.

"Enough!" He snaps. I'm pacing back and forth around my room and my cheeks are stained with tears. "You don't get to do this. We all make mistakes"

"You're right. But your "mistakes" are continuous." I pause and look at him, "I love you so much, that I need to let you go"

" Don't do this please" he cries. I walk over to him and sit in front of him.

"Stop being afraid of what people think of you Eli. You can hide behind the mohawk and the "cool" clothes as much as you want, but being someone you aren't, won't get you anywhere." I can see it in his face he's trying hard not to show his emotions.

"I'm not giving up on us Lillian as much as you push me away" he looks straight into my eyes.

"Maybe one day we'll find each other again. But right now we just aren't good for each other." I look down at my feet, "I think you should go home" I mumble to him.

"You're going to regret doing this Lillian" He gets up off the bed.

"Maybe I will but it's the right choice." He puts his shirt back on and grabs the doorknob but stops and looks back at me.

"I love you so fucking much. It irritates me that you're doing this over something so little and the past. We're going to figure this out, I promise you" He says and walks out. Once he leaves the room I break out into a full-on cry. It hurts so much to do that but it needed to happen. He deserves the world and more but he just needs to see that. He lets everyone get to him and it's changing him for the worst.

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