Arrived from nowhere

"I never told him, I love him ..."

Chapter 24:

POV Anakin: 

        Three weeks later, Caesar still not having been found, Ahsoka was still not eating and only sleeping, which worried me greatly. 

Obi-Wan had come regularly to keep us updated and check on her and Rex was calling, asking how she was and telling me that the 501st was supporting her through this tragedy, it made me smile to see them worrying about my little Snips, for my daughter.

        I saw her sitting in the living room, lost in thought, Ashla was in her baby basket on the little coffee table, asleep.

I didn't need to connect to our bond to feel her pain, her grief, her regrets, but above all her guilt was stronger than anything, that of not having loved her children as a real mom would have done it, she had something in her hands which she held tightly against her, surely a bodie or a baby plush belonging to Caesar, I come and sit down next to her. 

     “How are you ?” I asked her. “How are you feeling ?”

     “How do I feel ? ... Not easy to say ... I have the impression ... it's as if everything was moving ... but I couldn't move anymore ... I can barely take care of Ashla ...” she replied. 

      At that moment, I was angry with myself for asking her the question when I already knew the answer: of course she was not well, her baby was missing, and she felt horribly bad and guilty. She could barely manage taking care of her daughter.

Then she began to smell what seems to be a cuddly toy, he must have the smell of her son, then she stopped and look at it, I notice it in her hands, it is a small lotcat. “I didn't know that one. Did you buy it for him ?”

       She shook her head, negatively, stifling a few tears in her voice. “No, it's Rex who offered it to him ... This is his favorite, he never sleeps without it ! He also offered one to his sister”. She replied, taking it out of the baby basket for a second, a little Ewok before giving it back to her daughter so as not to disturb her.

“Can you sleep ?”

She shook her head, negatively, in response, “I cry, I collapse, and I have nightmares,” she looked down at the baby plush, “That's it every night ...”.

        I remember waking her up several times in the middle of the night in the middle of a nightmare and when I asked her what it was she didn't answer me, but I could only guess it was about Caesar,

~~~~~~                                               ~~~~~~

     I walk into her room, Ashla was crying, I calm her down thanks to the Force and I see her mom in her bed turning around in all directions, shaking and moaning in her sleep, I didn't need to connect to our bond to know she was doing a nightmare and her daughter was feeling it. I sit down delicately on the edge of her bed and shake her shoulders. “Snips ? ... Snips, wake up !”. 
 
       “NO !” She opens her eyes sharply, breathing, heavily and labored tears escape from the corner of her eyes. 

I pull her into my arms to comfort her. “Shhh ... It's okay, I'm here, ... Calm down ... You just had a nightmare.” I feel her shaking against my chest and curl up in me, I try to calm her down by sending comforting waves of love to her, through our bond to let her know that I am by her side and that I always will be. “You're okay ?”