Kirishima x Depressed and Drug using Reader(fem)

17.....Just you and Jin

[your pov]

"Y/n.. It's not your fault that you had to go through what you did. But you can fix everything that you had control over, by letting us help you. You can get over your addictions and mental challenges," he told you, "We have set up several different therapy methods, and a rehab program for people like you." he said. You know that he was trying to be kind and he was... but you coulndt process how to react to it.

"People like me, huh....?" you mumbled.

His eyes widened a bit as if he just realized what he had just said.

"Wait..that's not what I meant.." he said in defence, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"Yeah ok...people like me have it different. We have a lot running through our heads you know. We have a lot on our plate. We have depression and anxiety and a bajillion other things running through our heads! Have you ever had to question everything you do?" you asked.

"Y/n...Of course I have. Everyone second guesses themselves sometimes," he states.

"I'm not talking about 'sometimes'. I'm talking about every movement and word that you have to make and say," you hiss weakly, "from the biggest things, to the smallest things. Fuck, sometimes I question if people judge me by the way I pick up a pencil or look out the window during class. All the other kids have a friend group and are so friendly and sincere..." you laugh.

He hesitates, but before he has a chance to get a word in, you start talking again, "I used to think that growing up would be so amazing. I was so excited to go to school and make friends and make memories. I used to think that heroes were so amazing," you look down at your hands, "...and I even wanted to be one, but I lost interest in it before I even entered middle school. In fact I even started hating the idea of being a hero! But I joined the hero course anyways.. .I hoped that, maybe, I could rekindle that little flame of admiration," you looked him in the eyes and sat there for a minute, "I was wrong," you clenched your fists, "I still hate heros."

"You would be an amazing hero Y/n... you're one of my best students. And a lot of your peers look up to you," he comments.

"Maybe...but a good hero wouldn't have a past like mine... would make as many mistakes as I have. Or bad choices....Sensei.... I'm not meant to be a hero," you look up and meet his eyes, "I'm not meant to be at UA with the others, they all have such flashy quirks and mine isn't. They're all so strong, and powerful, and confident, and determined."

You take a minute expecting him to say something. But he just keeps his mouth closed and waits for you to speak again.

"Ha..." you let out half of an airy laugh, "I ruined everything...." you put your face in your palms, "Holly shit. I messed everything up. I'm such an awful person...and JIn..Oh god I'm such an awful friend. I let everyone down. Im sorry.. I'm so so sorry..." you pause and then realize something. "A...ahah.. Fuck...my mum's gonna kill me.." you voice cracked.

"She won't hurt you...not anymore. She's in jail, she won't hurt you anymore," he says.

".....Ok..... " your mum was in jail. How are you supposed to react to that?

"How much of the school knows?" you ask.

"Only class 1-A and the staff, " he says. You simply nod and lay back down.

Aizawa lets out a sigh and he stands up, out of his chair, "I'll let you rest now...I'll..." he hesitates and rubs the back of his neck, "I'll talk to Tsukauchi, and see what we can do about Masuda."

"Thank you..." you whisper as he leaves the room. You hear the click of the door and close your eyes.

'You're an idiot...' you tell yourself. If you would have been more careful you would have needed to put Kirishima and Jin through all this. You're weak and can't even feel the connection between you and Jin anymore. It's as if that thread that your powers had linked with one another, is completely gone.