𝐋𝐄𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐃𝐒 𝐍𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐑 𝐃𝐈𝐄 | luke patterson

The Letter

DEAR LUKE,

I slept in the garage last night, on your couch and in that old Zeppelin shirt you wore when you ran away. I thought maybe if I did that, I'd wake up in the morning and find out that this was all just horrible dream.

When I woke up, I forgot what had happened. The sun was coming through the windows and I could hear the cars passing in the street. For that single moment, everything was the way it was supposed to be. I still had you.

I fully expected for you to be beside me. I could've sworn I felt you breathing. I thought that Reggie, Alex, and Bobby would burst in like they always do, faces wide with smiles, and tease us for sleeping in.

The moment left as soon as it came and my world came crashing down all over again. I had you and then I didn't.

You once told me that when people leave, it's not always a loss. That everyone comes into your life for a reason and whether that reason is good or bad, you'll always grow from it.

Whatever your reason was, losing you was more than a loss. It was worse. I thought I knew what heartbreak felt like. When Jason and I broke up, I told myself that my father had broken my heart in a way that mattered more than a high school relationship. Fathers leave and boyfriends cheat. You move on from it, your heart heals. But I don't think I'll ever move on from you. I don't think a universe exists where I move on from you. Where I outgrow you. Where I outgrow any of you.

I guess I should say thank you. Without you, I would never be as happy as I was. Before you, I was just existing, never really living. Some people spend their whole lives searching for the kind of love that makes you feel alive. Some people never find it. But we did. And I am so grateful that I had the privilege of knowing you.

The chance of existing is slim, which means that the chance of existing at the same time as you must've been next to impossible. Maybe the universe worked in my favour, because I got the chance to get to know you for all that you were and all that you are. For all of your faults and all of your perfections. That day in detention, I never saw you coming. But my soul did. And every decision, every heartbreak, every note played, every song I've ever written... led me to you. My heart knew you before we ever met.

We had a love only seen in fairytales, but we realized too late that fairytales aren't real. And maybe we were soulmates, maybe we were meant to be, but not in this lifetime. In this life, we were just two kids with really bad luck.

Everyone misses someone because even infinity misses the end, and for infinity I will be missing you.

Until we meet again, my love.

Forever yours,
Trouble