Dark heart

Chapter 24

Uncertainly, I shifted my weight from one leg to the other and bit my lower lip. I had no idea how long I had been standing here when suddenly my phone on the desk lit up and pulled me out of my thoughts. With a few quick steps, I was there and picked it up. My hand clenched around the phone, which suddenly felt infinitely heavy as I stared at the display. It was a message from Steve and this one word made my heart stop: "Roof".

I broke out of my shock and ran. Images of Bucky in freefall appeared like a horror movie in front of my mind's eye as I rushed through the building. He wouldn't hurt himself. I clung to this thought as if it were the lifeline for a drowning man when I finally reached the stairs. It felt like I was moving in slow motion but the burning muscles in my legs showed that I was sprinting like never before in my life.

I didn't slow down, even as my lungs screamed for oxygen or my muscles cramped painfully. Steve's with him, nothing's going to happen. The thought echoed in my head and tried to suppress the images of Bucky lying on the ground in front of the building. After a felt eternity, I finally reached the heavy metal door that separated the stairwell from the roof and pressed it open. Cold night air hit me in the face and cooled my heated body as I tripped on the roof and stoped next to Steve.

It was clear that every fiber of his body was tense, but he didn't seem like anything bad had happened. He stood a few feet from the edge and fixed something with his eyes. It wasn't until I followed his gaze that I saw Bucky sitting on the edge. His legs dangled over the abyss and he stared out into the darkness, but he was fine. I felt as if a weight of tons had fallen off of me and only now could I breathe properly again. The cold air was burning in my lungs, but I still took in a deep breath before I looked up to Steve.

However, he only seemed to really notice my presence when I put a hand on his shoulder. Surprised he drove around to me but relaxed noticeably only a moment later. "I don't think he wants to hurt himself", he said softly so Bucky couldn't hear him and I nodded relieved when he confirmed my guess. "Talk to him", Steve said quietly and I nodded again, but now I went to the edge myself and sat down next to Bucky.

We both remained quiet, we didn't have to say anything because we both knew what the other was thinking. "It's okay", I said quietly at some point, and those words were enough for him to finally let go of his stiffness and look at me with tears in his eyes. "Will it ever be?" he asked, and his voice was little more than a whisper. "Yes Buck, I promise", I only returned and had to fight the tears myself in the face of the pain reflected in his eyes.

"Okay", was all he answered and took my hand. His thumb drew small circles on my skin as I dropped my head on his shoulder and started humming our song with a brittle voice. I don't know how long we sat there, but at some point Steve came over and put a hand on Bucky's shoulder. "Ready to go back in, pal?" he wanted to know and Bucky nodded after a short hesitation. I let Steve help me up, and we followed Bucky back inside.

We watched him disappear into his room, but only after he promised us to do nothing stupid. "I wish we could do anything", Steve sighed and ran his hands through his hair. "We have to give him time. He can't go back to who he was in the 40s, he's got to find out who he is, after all those decades when he was not allowed to be anyone", I simply answered and Steve smiled at me tiredly. "You're far too wise for his age", he said, and I laughed quietly. "Yes, I hear that a lot. "

Steve also said goodnight and went to his room and I went a little insecure to Loki's. His look when he left earlier didn't want to get out of my mind and left a feeling as if a cold, iron fist was clutching my stomach. As quietly as possible, I opened the door and tried to locate him in the darkness of the room. As my eyes got used to the darkness, I discovered him already in bed sleeping.

I closed the door behind me and stripped off my shoes. Carefully, so as not to wake him, I crawled to him into bed and rolled up on my side. His face looked pale in the faint moonlight falling through the window and I took in every detail of his facial features. When he slept, they were completely peaceful, like a boy's, and I gently brushed a strand of his black hair from his forehead. I let my fingertips rest on his temple and drove hardly noticeably down over his cheek and jawline.

Suddenly a muscle twitched under my fingers and I quickly pulled it away to let him sleep. His facial features, which had briefly tense, became calm again and he muttered something incomprehensible in his sleep. As I looked at him like this and finally came to rest, I felt that even the last bit of the burden that had rested on me this evening was falling off me, leaving only a bewildering emptiness and exhaustion. And now I let the tears run, too, which I had to hold back all the time.

Hey guys, I'm so sorry that I haven't updated this story for so long. I just never had ideas to continue it that were good enough to post in my eyes. But I promise I'll try to post more again. Thank y'all for the patience you had with me on this. Love you 💚