Before Strawberry Candies - Ariana grande x You (girlxgirl)

Part 18

We all played some board games and had so much fun. Around 4 in the morning everyone left except Frankie and Hale because they slept over. Ariana stayed over too, and we got ready to bed as soon as our friends left.

"I haven't had this many people at my place in a very long time," I said and grabbed my pajamas. "Better get used to it cause the industry is gonna eat you up." She chuckled while got under the covers. "Yeah, I think I need to peeper myself for that. I was doing just fine at the studio and now I jumped into the deep water." I laid next to her and cuddled to her side. She wrapped her arms around my torso and hid her face in my neck. Which by the way, looked worse cause it started to get purple and stuff. "You're gonna be just fine. You are a nice person and a lot of artists already know you so it shouldn't be that hard." She said, feeling her hot breath on my skin. "Yeah. Anyways, good night bubs." I kissed her head and closed my eyes. "Good night." She whispered.

I couldn't sleep. I just couldn't. That nightmare kept me up. I thought it got away, now that I sleep next to Ari almost every night, but no. Ariana was fast asleep next to me, her back facing me. I didn't want to wake so I just went to the kitchen to get some water. Then I grabbed my cigarettes and walked to the balcony. Sat on the cold chair which made me jump a little, and lit the cigarette. Inhaled that grey stench and seconds later formed smoke rings as I exhaled.

It was a chilly night. I was fine in a simple sweatshirt. For my luck, it was a fool moon which I love. Ever since I was a teenager I had a weird obsession with it. "Hey." Heard the quiet raspy voice from behind me and turned around to check the person. "Did I wake you?" I asked but she didn't answer and just sat in my lap. "The coldness of the bed did. What's wrong?" She asked. "I couldn't sleep." I blew out the last breath of smoke and stumped the cigarette. "I thought you don't smoke anymore." "Well, I forgot to smoke. I didn't quite smoke on purpose, I just didn't have time for that I guess." "What's wrong?" She held my face with her hands and looked for answers on my face. "Nothing," I said. "Y/N..." I looked away, taking a glance at the city. "I think I have insomnia," I said. "Since when? I thought you slept well these past few days." She said worriedly. "Yeah well, I did until today. When I was at the studio very early that day, you know. That night, I had the same nightmare I think three times in a row. I was scared to fall asleep so I went to the studio. And since that, I was with you and I didn't have the dream but tonight I had it again. And I just hate it." I said not looking at her cause the dream was replaying in my head and I couldn't look at her. "Do you want to tell me about the nightmare?" She stroked the side of my face. "Uhm..." I didn't want to tell her the whole truth because that would break her. "I overdose. I'm laying on the kitchen floor." My eyes started to get teary even tho I didn't do it. "I'm just laying there, sweating, my heart is beating too fast and I can't hear anything except... uhm the front door closing and heels clicking on the floor." I took a big breath and looked at her. Her eyes are teary as well. "And you come and find. You speak but I don't understand. You're crying. Calling 911. Soon I could see the red and blue lights from outside. The sirens are very loud so I could hear that. And then the door opens and I just... I uhm..." I cleared my throat. I just couldn't say the word out loud. I looked back at her. Tears streaming down her cheek. "Then you know what happens..." I said not willing to say otherwise. She didn't say a word. Just stared at me with her glossy eyes. "I'm sorry," I said softly holding her hand. She shook her head and hugged me very closely. "I'm here for you, okay? I don't want to lose you." She said. "I'm not going anywhere." I kissed the side of her head and let out a shaky breath.

We were sitting silently. Looking at the city lights. The moonlight was very bright. "I love the moon," I said. "Me too. I just love how it gives the light in the darkest times." She said quietly looking at the big shiny ball. "When I was a teenager I used to stay up all night long just to look at it. I didn't know why cause it didn't change obviously but it just looked so pretty." "Do you ever write poems? You look like someone who does that." She said from out of nowhere. "I look like who does that? That's funny." I chuckled. "Well, you speak so poetically sometimes. I thought you do." She said with a grumpy note. "Oof shut it with the angry note Grande. I actually write poems for your interest." I said and tickled her side which made her break the straight face. "I'm not angry." She said. "Oh yeah sure." I laughed and pulled her in a kiss. "I would love to hear your poems." She pulled away, looking into my eyes. Her hand was playing with my baby hairs and my arms were wrapped around her. "Yeah?" She nodded. I picked her up, her legs instantly wrapped around my waist, and hugged me close. "I have a bunch tho." We walked back to my room and I put her down on the bed. Quickly found my notebook where I wrote them and gave it to her. Turned on the lamp on the side of the bed and laid on my side next to her. She was sitting with her legs crossed in front of her and the notebook was in her lap. "There are sections. Like about life, or love and stuff like that." I pointed at the different titles. "Mhmm." She started reading it from the beginning. Didn't care about the sections.