You're Gone and I've Gotta Stay High

Chapter 22

"Val?"

I snapped out of my thoughts and looked at Jack. We were driving to Jersey in a rental car and he had insisted on driving after finding me awake in the living room this morning. He could tell I hadn't slept and he wanted me to try to rest on the way.

But I didn't want to rest. I drank two cups of coffee and had loud music blasting to ensure that I didn't fall asleep. My eyes would droop and I would just crank the music louder.

Jack was watching me with his sunglasses hanging low on his nose.

"Yeah?" I asked.

"Are you okay?"

He asked me this 29000 just today alone and I would always mumble a yes or give nothing more than a nod. There was no point in being honest. Of course I wasn't okay.

There was a light at the end of the tunnel, though.

Alex was only a few more miles away. The thought of him made me squirm in excitement. I looked down at my background again and felt a small smile appear. I couldn't wait.

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We finally arrived at the venue and Jack helped me move my bags to the bus. The guys were in the stadium practicing so not being able to wait, I just tossed my bags where Jack said to and bounced up and down.

Jack was happy to see me somewhat better. But the truth was, it was a temporary high.

No pun intended.

"You going to tell Alex when you see him?" He asked, resting his elbow on his bunk. A moment later, his eyes fell and he looked guilty for bringing it up.

"Yeah... I have to. I have to tell him."

"I wish you'd let me come with you."

Jack licked his lips and his brow furrowed. Then he added, "and I don't want him mad at me for not telling him as soon as it happened."

I rolled my eyes and crossed my arms. I knew he didn't mean that selfishly but a felt a jab of irritation. "I won't let him be."

Jack eased and moved to give me a reassuring hug. I wrapped my arms around his shoulders and took in his welcoming scent.

Then we walked into the stadium.

Alex was standing with his back towards us, jumping up in the air and flailing his arms.

"I can't wait to see Val!"

My heart started to thump and I had the urge to jump to. Rian noticed me and pointed at me with his drum sticks.

Alex stopped jumping and spun around. His eyes were wide and he was beaming like new headlights.

"Babe!"

He slid off the stage and came running at me. I was so ready to be in his arms. Everything felt so light and airy and my troubles seemed to melt away. But only for a moment.

When he grabbed me my by my shoulders, I had overwhelming flash backs of Mark and panic took hold. I cowered back from his grip and gasped.

Alex straightened his back and his eyes flickered to my arms and back up to my face.

I caught a glimpse of Jack nodding and telling me it was time. Then he slunk off to the stage where Rian and Zack were.

I focused on Alex and took a deep breath.

"Alex... I need to tell you something..."

My voice was almost inaudible. He cocked his head and waited. "Not here, alone" I whispered, stealing a glance at his band mates.