Oblivious | jeverus

Part 11

He didn't know what to do. He had just been told hes recovered from his life threatening condition and he wished he never was.

" hey. What did the doctor say? Is it bad?" James asked worriedly.

Severus went rigid at the sound of his voice. It was like everything in him was screaming to run away but he forced himself to stay and walk over to his own bed.

" uh yeah. Everything is fine." He said quietly.

He cleared his throat and sat on his bed across from james.

" so why are you acting so weird?"

" uh its nothing. Dont worry about it."

Severus tried to wave it off but james was a stubborn brat and he wouldn't let it go.

" come on. I dont like it when you're so closed up with me, its weird."

" i told you its nothing."

" well it clearly isnt or else you wouldn't be this way."

" james just drop it." Severus stood up and walked away.

" wha- just tell me!"

" i told you its nothing to worry about!"

" well i am worrying about it so spare me the attitude and just spit it out!"

" im cured!"

He looked at james with a conflicted look.

" im cured from my hanahaki. Thats what it is." He crossed his arms.

James looked at him with wide eyes and then broke out into a smile.

" oh my god, sev thats great!" He stood up, walked to him and wrapping his arms around him.

" jesus i thought you had cancer or something but this is great news! Why wouldn't you tell me?" He slapped his arm as he pulled away.

Severus flinched, rubbing the spot and scowling.

" because im a bit conflicted with the outcome."

" the outcome of you not dying anymore?" James said incredulously.

Severus rolled his eyes and nodded.

" yes. Because quite frankly, i dont want to be cured."

" why wouldn't you want that?"

" because i just dont want to revert back to what i used to be. You know, stuck up, stubborn-"

" used to be?"

" shut up. You know what i mean. We still have what, 2 months left of school? Ill have to go back and be me again." He huffed.

James' shoulders relaxed and he looked at severus with a blank look.

" Severus Snape, you cannot be serious."

" well i am."

" come on sev! You've changed since ive known you in school. God your fun, you look better, a little sickly sure but so do i." He shrugged.

It was true. It was gradual and neither have really noticed but both of them had paled, lost weight and became significantly sunken in.

James only noticed when he went out with his friends and severus had barely even considered their looks.

" but you're sweet, your fun to be around and very entertaining. You're still a sarcastic asshole but ive come to terms with the fact that you're just never gonna change that part."

James smiled and stepped closer. He hugged him again, severus' arms still crossed over his. chest.

" but i like that part so its nice. Just relax and be happy you've healed. And its good that you got over that pompous prat or else i may have died of disgust. No offense to Narcissa." He pulled away and pat his shoulder.

Severus snorted.

" thank you."

" of course. Now come on, let's celebrate!"

Severus chuckled and nodded.

" sure. Although the only place we can go to 'celebrate' is the canteen."

" they make decent chocolate cake, we'll manage." James said in return.

Severus laughed, grabbing a hoodie and grabbing onto the handle.

" you coming?" He asked when he realized james was still rooted in his place.

" yeah yeah, just a sec."

Severus looked him over then hummed.

" sure. Ill wait outside."

" ok." James nodded.

Once severus was gone and the door locked closed he ran to the bathroom.

Rose petals and thorns made way for itself as he choked and sobbed.

Severus was cured. He was gonna live.

But why am i so sad?

The thought of severus being healed should make him happy, excited, jubilant. But instead he feels this overwhelming dread of whats to come.

Hes gonna leave.

Severus will get healed, and then he will leave. Then they will become strangers again, enemies, rivals. If james even makes it out.

He didn't notice the tears rolling off his face until one dropped down into the sink, making a small clear dot in the otherwise red basin.

Soon they started to fall one by one until his coughing stopped and all he did was sob. He felt horrible knowing he couldn't be happy for severus.

He felt terrible knowing what they will become after this.

But he had to stay strong. He couldn't let severus know of his this or else he may make the situation worse.

So he powered through. He cleaned the bathroom sink and wiped at his face. Grabbed his wand and muttered the healing spells hoarsely, the ones severus had taught him to do when he turned of age.

He did another spell for his swelling and red eyes.

When he was satisfied with his look he put on a big smile and nodded.

" you can do this" he told himself as he walked out of their room.

" there you are." Severus smiled brightly when he finally came out.

" oh. You waited?"

" i said i would didnt i?" He smirked.

James chuckled and nodded, pulling his jacket over his arms.

" come on. To the canteen we go to annoy the nurses and staff." James laughed.

Severus snorted.

" sure. Onwards and forward."