The Lost Spark

Chapter 21

"You 'kay?" Lucas said na tumabi sa pagkakaupo ko sa buhanginan habang pinapanood si Gian na nagtatampisaw sa dagat.

Water drops from the sea are magnificently cascading to Lucas's face.

Bahagyang ginulo ni Lucas ang buhok nya at nakangiting tumitig rin kay Gian na naglalaro sa dalampasigan.

Habang inabala ko ang sarili ko sa pag titig sa mukha ni Lucas.

His glorious nose is pointing proudly, parang nahiya yung ilong ko ah. Well hindi naman ako pango, pero grabe lang kasi ang pagka tangos ng ilong nya.

Gamit ang towel sa nasa kandungan ko ang pinunasan ko ang buhok nya. He has black hair, his lashes are longer and curlier than mine. And he even has a lip that's red as cherries.

Bat ang unfair ni lord, ako yung babae pero hindi ako yung biniyayaan ng ganyang features.

Natigil ang pagpupunas ko sa buhok nya ng hawakan nya ang kaliwang kamay ko.

And when I looked at him, his deep eyes are staring directly at mine.

Hindi ko alam kung kinakabahan ba ako dahil sa biglang pagbilis ng tibok ng puso ko, o siguro ay dahil lang ito sa init ng panahon.

"Uhmm" I can't compose a sentence dahil sa intensity ng pagkakatitig nya sakin.

Nahihiyang ibinaling ko sa ibang direksyon ang titig ko ng hindi ko kayanin ang intensidan ng mga titig nya.

Narinig ko ang mahinang pagtawa nya dahil sa ginawa ko.

"B-bakit ka tumatawa" I said na hindi napigilan ang pagka-utal

"Nothing hon," he said saka ako hinalikan sa pisngi at nag mamadaling tumayo saka tumakbo papunta kay Gian.

Hindi ko alam pero napahawak na lang ako sa pisngi ko na hinalikan nya saka dumako ang palad ko sa aking dibdib.

Para naman akong teenager sa ginagawa ko. Parang noong mga panahon lang na inaabangan ko si Lucas sa school na dumaan sa hallway ng department namin.

Who knows na ang crush ko noon at laging inaasar sa akin ng mga kaibigan ko noon ay asawa ko na ngayon. Unexpected by how the events of my life turns.

And then here goes the pain again, pain that only the thought of Gino can make me feel. Pain of regrets by my many what if's.

Yeah, no one knows na yun ang magiging end namin ni Gino.

Ang sakit lang na pinagtagpo kayo ng tadhana pero yung tadhana rin ang magiging dahilan para magkahiwalay kayo.

Regrets are unavoidable pero alam ko na kung patuloy akong mabubuhay sa nakaraan ay hindi ako sasaya.

Being happy is what I want for myself now, hindi lang para sa sarili ko kundi para na rin sa anak ko, and now  para kay Lucas.

I want to open my heart again. Years of agony and regrets are over, that is what I keep on telling myself.

Pero parang bumalik lang sa akin lahat ng sakit at inipon kong lakas ng loob to start over again ng makita ko at matitigan ang mata ng taong iyon. The feeling that I want to discard, but I know will always haunt me.

A sad smile is flashed to my face as I stare at Gian and Lucas who are having their time and are enjoying the water.

At least, I have them kahit na binabalot ng lungkot at pag-sisisi ang pag-katao ko, alam kong nandyan lang sila para sa akin. And I can't afford to lose them as well.

Isunukbit ko ang towel sa balikat ko at saka tumayo mula sa buhanginan. But when I turn my sight behind me para sana bumalik sa cottage at kumuha ng maiinom ay napahinto ako ng makitang muli ang taong noong nakaraang lingo lang ay nagpagulo sa sistema ko.

Aziel's P.O.V.

Summer here in the Philippines is actually good.

I decided to just walk around dahil ayaw ko ng tumambay sa kwarto ko at matulog lang.

And I also want to get rid of that woman in my mind na lagi na lang nasa panaginip ko, and worst I always find myself in tears tuwing gigising ako.

I am busy walking papunta sa ilang cottage sa labas ng resort ng mapahinto ako.

It has been a week pero parang palabas na umulit sa isip ko kung paano ko unang nakita ang mga matang yan.

"Dude, are you sure you're okay there? Mom's nagging me here. Kailan ka ba babalik?" Leo ask me

"Man, kabababa ko lang ng eroplano pinapauwi mona agad ako?," I said

"Damn bro!, mom will surely nag me when she'll know what you did. Ti eri appena ripreso dall'operazione(You had just recovered from your operation) Then nag liliwaliw ka na". He nagged in the other line

"Kuya, it's been years since that operation, I'm okay now. And you know why I'm doing this" I said ng makasakay na rin ako sa van na susundo sa akin papunta doon sa resort na tutuluyan ko. My brother is exaggerating things again.

I'm sure he's just telling me to come back since wala na syang kakampi pag pinagalitan sya ni mom dahil sa pambababae nya don. Well can't blame those women, cause the looks my brother and I had are beyond ethereal.

"You're crazy, Pazzo" Leo said.

I know na hindi ako matitiis ng kapatid ko, I just need to do this to answer all the question I have

I just arrived in the Philippines from the Italy where I grew up. My mom is a Filipina, the reason why Leo and I can also speak and understand Tagalog.

It's been so long.

"So how's the reservation? Sigurado kang bayad na kuya ha? Baka palayasin ako don?" I joked

"Yeah, it's all settled. Just finish your business there at bumalik ka na if not mamma mi ucciderà sicuramente (mom will surely kill me)" Leo stated

"Noted, sir," I told my brother.

I ended that call.

"Sir, can we stopover in the nearest fast food first," I told the driver

"Sige po sir" the man said 

And that's where I found the reason why I went here in the Philippines standing in front of me who's just meters away. That same woman in my dreams.

"A-alona" I whispered but a man voice equate my voice. No that is louder that my voice. And we both utter the same name. Sure enough the woman doesn't even heard my voice calling her name.

I looked behind me and saw a man carrying a child. 

I looked at the woman and said "Sorry miss, excuse me." then walked passed her.

At the distance, I looked back. Alona the girl that I remember isn't looking at my direction. The child that the man is carrying even plant a kiss on her cheeks.

They're laughing.

And that sight feels like it's crashing and tearing my heart.

It is more painful than those dreams that I had of her. Cause this time, it wasn't a dream and it's far from being a dream.

Damn! I can't keep on staring at them like that.

I turn my back at them at saka tumuloy papasok sa mens comfort room.

Shit! Why do I feel like this? I don't even know that woman but hell, she's been into my system ever since I recover from that damn operation.

And it fucking hurt me for I don't know the goddamn reason.

Damn! maybe Leo's right that I'm losing my mind.

But hell! It's my heart that's hurting.

Hurting like a shit!.