A New Game of Chess

♟twelve♟

TW⚠- Suicide

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I sit down on my bed and just stare at the wall. You would typically expect me to continue crying, but I hate crying, so I keep it at a minimum. I have no idea why I cried in Ezra's office but I hated the fact that I did. It made me look weak. Weak. I fucking hate that word. It's my mom's favorite word when it comes to me. I hate her. I hate life. Ezra should've finished the job while he still had the chance. Why did he even stop when I wasn't resisting? What happened to 'I won't hesitate to kill you' when he literally did? Lil' bitch.

Adriana, get your shit together.

That's what Sana would say when I gave up on life. That phrase always replayed in my head when my shit wasn't together. Now I'm using it, but this time instead of feeling motivated, I felt worse.

She's gone.

In an instant, my emotions flushed away and I felt empty. I looked around the room, searching for something. Then my eyes landed on the pills on the dresser. I asked Celissia for pain killers a couple of days ago for my cramps. Obviously my intentions for them before were not the intentions I have for it now, but I appreciated her for getting them for me either way.

I got up, walked over to the dresser and grab the pills. I looked around if I had a bottle of water, but saw none in sight. It wouldn't matter anyways, I was used to swallowing pills dry. I opened the bottle and poured almost half of the bottle into my hand and examined it.

Fuck it.

But as I was about to pour the numerous pills into my mouth, a knock echoed through the room. I turned my head to the door and sighed before putting all the pills back into the bottle.

As I screwed the lid shut, I yelled, "Come in." The door slowly crept opened and revealed Celissia.

"You okay? I noticed that you left Ezra's office a while ago and didn't come back to my room." She started walking over to me and continued, "I don't know what he said to you, but I'm sorry if he upset yo-" she stopped and frowned. "What happened to your neck?" Her fingers grazed my neck and I quickly grabbed her wrist to stop her.

"I'm fine." I said. I let go of her hand and walked over to my bed to sit.

"Ezra did it, didn't he?" she grit her teeth. I only stared at the ground with my elbows on my knees. My silence was the only answer she needed. "I'm gonna fucking kill him," she murmured as she strided for the door.

"Don't," I said as she stopped in her tracks. "It doesn't matter."

"It does, Adriana, and I'm going to him no matter what you say." And with that, she left. I stared blankly at the door. I sighed and crawled under the covers of my bed. If I ever had a shitty day, sleeping was always my solution. And at the moment, I was going to do just that. As I adjusted my position, I quickly dozed into a peaceful slumber.

My dream was tranquil. I was sitting in a large field of lilacs. Lilacs were my favorite flowers. Everything about that flower was calming. The aroma itself helps relieve stress. So sitting in a field of these made me want to melt into the earth. The cool, yet soothing breeze brought tingles to my skin. The fresh air made me feel new. Even though nothing was happening, I found myself entertained by the sway of the flowers. I stood up and started wandering around the field. The green grass tickled my feet as my white dress brushed the ground. I heard movement from behind me and turned around, but saw nothing. As I got ready to walk again, I saw someone in the distance. They were wearing all white like me. By the time I knew it, I was running towards the figure. I don't know why my black ass was running towards a mysterious figure but my legs kept pumping.