Hate To Love You... (Hawks/Keigo Takami x Reader)

Chaptet 47

Sniffling gently to myself, I snuggle up into the hard mattress of my bed with a small sigh. My eyes watering slightly as I bury my face into the crinkling bedsheets that seem too wet yet too dry at the same time. My back shivering gently as I wrap my hands around the sheets, knuckles going pale as I take a deep breath and sigh to myself. My eyes roam around the dark and bare room, small shivers rushing down my spine as I try to keep myself as calm as I possibly can. Wings desperate to leave their sheath, wanting to be set free and wrap themselves around me to keep my comfortable and safe... but I couldn't let that happen.

For days on end, I have been living in fear. I couldn't fall asleep without shooting out of my bed in cold sweats and tears. I couldn't do anything without feeling petrified about what this gang could do to me. Worried about being used in other ways that people only write about in gang novels. Worried about Angel being alone. Worried about Keigo getting hurt and never coming back... Worried about the fact that I'll never be saved from this hell hole...

God knows where Keigo is. He could be doing anything. Anything that he wanted... what if he isn't looking for me? What if he's happy that I'm gone?! He could be partying up with another girl for all I know and forgotten all about me. He could be letting another girl pet Angel and letting another girl into his home while I'm cooped up in here fearing for my own life. He could be —

Wait what am I thinking?!

God being kidnapped for too long isn't good on the brain... why would I think about that sort of thing? Keigo loves me. He's sweet and I know for a fact that he wouldn't cheat on me because I'm locked up somewhere. He'll be here soon. I know it. I just need to give him more time. I know he needs it. That's all... More time and more days. He'll be here and he'll scoop me into his arms and hold me as tightly as he possibly could. Then we'll go home, cuddle with Angel and just be with one another for as long as we possibly can...

Keigo will be here! I know it!

Stupid brain, stupid mind, stupid subconscious and it's stupid tendencies...

Clearing my throat, I rest my cheek against the pillow beneath me and sigh to myself. Anxiety, worry, fear and desperation swirling in my stomach. Nausea slamming into me like a car crash as I sniffle and shift in the bed to try and calm myself down. Every time I close my eyes, I could see flashes of everything. The big burly boss that's full of scars staring at me. Stale coffee breath in my nostrils.

The scoldings of the second in command imprinting in my brain. Don't take too long in healing someone. Do two people at a time because it's quicker. Don't start throwing up or you'll have to clean that up. Don't talk back to me. Don't say you can't do it when you've been doing it for the past week. What did I say about crying? What are you twelve? You're a grown ass adult, quit your bitching and do as you're told! Your father didn't put up this much of a fight. Do you want to end up like your dad?!....

God I can't do this anymore...

I really just want to go home. Is that too much to ask? All I want to do, is be at home and cuddle up on the couch. Have my cuddles with Angel, feed her and give her kisses that she need. See my boyfriend, snuggle into his sides and have his wings wrapped around me like a safety blanket. That's all I want to do. That's all I want to have. I just want to be happy at home, with my boyfriend and with my dog. Is that really too much to ask?

I mean, come on... I haven't done anything wrong in my life to deserve this sort of thing. I have always followed rules. I've never once tried to hurt someone for my own personal gain. I've always been polite and I have never tried to be rude to anyone on purpose (well, unless they're someone that deserves it!). It's just not —