Lifeguards (a Drarry Story)

Chapter Twenty- Papers and Breaks

Sipping on the perfectly made tea, Draco thinks. He thinks and he thinks, his throat hurts he supposes that's what happens when you scream at someone for half an hour, he's thinking about everything that has been said. Harry's words still echoing in his head, 'I should have left left you and Goyle in that fucking fire.'

He hands tighten around his mug as Harry sits across the room on his love seat. Draco has adamantly been staring out of the window, watching the people below him walk on the streets. He's always loved people watching, ignoring his own self and just watching others. His stereo is playing quietly in the corner, he didn't like sitting in the silence, it was becoming too deafening. The upbeat pop song seems very out of place with the dark mood encasing the room. Harry hasn't said a word since handing Draco the mug. Draco assumes he's waiting for him to say something first, well, he's not ready to talk yet. He's not sure who he's more upset with, Harry or the world. He knows what he said wasn't nice, he had not right to bring up Lupin, or say those things about turning Harry over to the Dark Lord given the chance. He just knew it would rile Harry up, make him angry like Draco was. He didn't mean those things, but the way Harry spat those words back at him, there must have been a little bit of sincerity within them.

That's what hurts the most, the words tumbling out of his mouth like they were nothing. That stings, it fucking stings.

"Draco, can we talk about it?" Harry whispers, his voice barely audible over the sound of the radio. Draco sighs deeply, his eyes are burning slightly. He doesn't look over, just nodding his head minutely and clasping the mug between his hands tighter.

"I suppose," Draco says taking a sip of the milky tea. His eyes catching the bright coat of a stranger below on the pavement.

"No yelling, no insults, let's just talk like adults," Harry says leaning his elbows forward on his thighs. He hears Draco scoff quietly and his eyebrows knit together.

"Bit late for that, don't you think?" Draco says bitterly, his tone becoming icy and closed off. His legs are pressed against his chest, his chin resting on his knees as the mug is held in his hands.

"Look, I'm sorry for jumping to conclusions and not listening. But, you weren't exactly helping our issue either. You got all defensive and wouldn't explain anything, I'm sorry I said those things, I really am," Harry sighs, his hand rubbing across his face.

"I got all defensive because instead of listening you assumed that I believed all that Death Eater bullshit, sorry I guess, for trying to defend myself," Draco says his tone still acidic and his body language anything but welcoming.

"Draco, I'm sorry. It's hard to let go of those things, I fought against it my entire life. I will always jump to conclusions because it's been hardwired into my head to always try and see the bad in everything. I didn't mean it like how it came out, I just don't know how to communicate without attacking people," Harry says his voice becoming quieter the longer he talks. Draco just narrows his eyes at the cup in his hands, watching the cream colored swirls shift in his tea.

"Well, I assumed since you know, you're dating me that you wouldn't think those things of me. It makes me feel like you don't trust me, that you're just with me to keep an eye on me," Draco never really thought about it like that, but it makes sense the longer he thinks on it.

"That's not it at all. You don't really think that do you? Merlin, no, I'm with you because I can see you've changed. I'm with you because I love the person you are. I'm not with you for any other reason than I want to," Harry says his eyes lowered to the carpet, he really has been a shite boyfriend hasn't he?

Draco slowly looks over towards Harry, his eyes still downcast and staring at the carpet. Draco feels a little bit of sympathy in his stomach, curling around and wanting him to apologize. But, a bigger part of him wants to ignore it, Harry isn't the one who got told all those things.