Forgetting The Ex

I'm Alive

Each of you who re-voted for the unpublished and republished chapters,thank you so much. It means a lot❤️

Those of you who didn't,you are under no obligation to vote again. I love you guys either way.

Happy reading :)

Is the pain after a break (up) and the strength of a relationship proportional?

I ponder at the question, painting my toe nails,three days after Nikhil decided we need to take a... break.

There's a bitter aftertaste in my mouth.

I let Whatever It Takes by ImagineDragons play in the background, conveniently ignoring the tap on my door.

I hum to the lyrics,getting up to iron my clothes for the day, ignoring the way my best friend is yelling from the other side.

"I'm fine. I'm alive",I yell back.

There's a pause, followed by a 'Fuck You'.

Good.

I knew I was in for a major drilling session when Anshu finally catches me,but it didn't stop me from avoiding humans the last few days.

I hadn't even spoken to mom the last three days.

And I think I'm getting withdrawal symptoms now.

I'm annoyed when Nikhil plagues my thoughts, making my eyes glassy,for the too-many-times-to-count-th time.

I sniff.

Fuck you, Nikhil.

How dare he decide we need to take a break without my input?

But there's also a part of me that's... relieved.

Nikhil is expecting too much from me,in too little time. I do like him. But something is holding me back from expressing myself completely.

Thank you,Dhruv. For spoiling love for me.

Asshole.

Over the next few days, I find myself analysing myself,the situation,Nikhil,Dhruv,our mistakes, everything in between.

The more I think about it,the more I found myself at wrong,the more I could relate to Nikhil's pain.

And it haunted me.

I'm almost sure I'm slipping into depression when my physical appearance started to get affected. There are bags under my eyes,my clothes looser,my hair drier,my body weaker.

I let it continue for another two days,making it a grand total of three weeks of wallowing in misery,self pity,before I'd started missing my old self back.

Me, missing myself was a big thing.

I need to step up my play,let some people in ,shut some people out.

And I should probably also rent out Anshu's room.

The idiot shifted into my room.

My eyes are blurry as I think of my best friend, thanking God for giving me her(even though I would never admit it to her).

"What's with the face?"

Anshu shrugs, dropping on my bed,"Tired."

As I gaze at Anshu while she grumbles to herself about how some of our professors must be shot, unease gripped me.

"I'm a shit friend, aren't I?"

"What?", Anshu snaps her eyes open, frowning.

I shrug,"I am,right?"