Oops a Daisy

Four

Tony Pov

It was a couple of days later, we were at the school gates, as you do when you drop your child off at school, (not that I had much experience beforehand as I was usually already at work), and Daisy was a bit hesitant about going back to school that day, (not that I blame her for that though).

"Ok Baby, you ready for school today?"
"I don't know about that Daddy"
"Ok Darling, (kisses forehead), ok, let's go inside, shall we?"
"Ok Daddy"

So I held Daisy's hand and gently guided her inside the school as she was still quite upset, I felt terrible about making her go to school, (though who wouldn't feel that way in my shoes), but I also knew that she needed some normality in her life and unfortunately school was that, (since it was a routine), so I just tried my best to get Daisy on board here.

We got to where Daisy's class was and so I knelt down and cupped her face, as I knew that she needed the comfort from it, (plus it comforted me too, so you know, two birds one stone and all that jazz), which was a good call as Daisy started to cry, and I felt awful about making her go to school, but I knew that she needed some normality in her life, (even if she didn't like it that much, it was all I could offer her at the time).

"I'm scared Daddy"
"I know Honey, I know, but I know that you're going to be ok"
"You promise Daddy?"
"Yeah Baby, I promise"
"Ok Daddy"

I hugged Daisy, the poor girl had been through a lot of shit for a not long turned 5 year old little girl, (honestly I felt like crying too but that would've made her cry more), I felt fucking awful that this was the fall out of the argument, but this wasn't about me, it was about the fact that a little girl heard her mother say that she hated her and this was the consequences, (though it was really hard to not show Daisy my anger for her Mum, but I didn't want Daisy to think that I was angry with her).

"It's ok Baby-"
"M sorry Daddy-"
"Hey, you don't have to apologise Honey, (kisses temple), it's not good for you to hold your emotions all inside you Darling"
"But I'm crying all the time"
"It's ok to cry when you need to Baby"
"I don't want you to go Daddy"

If my heart wasn't already broken, it would have shattered right there and then, (I still felt fucking awful about it though), all I wanted to do was to wrap her up in cottonwool and make sure that nobody could hurt her again, but I knew that was not very practical, nor would it be appreciated when she was older, (yeah she's a real independent adult now, fuck I feel old now).

"I gotta go to work Honey, but I'll be back to get you when it's time for you to go home, I promise"
"So you're not leaving me too?"
"Oh Baby, no of course not Darling, (kisses cheek), you are my Baby-"
"But Daddy, 'm not a baby"
"I know you're not a baby Darling, (kisses temple), I know, but you're my baby and you always will be"
"Even when I'm 80?"

Yeah, I didn't want to even think about Daisy eventually being 80 years old, as that meant that I would almost definitely be dead firstly, but also secondly she was just barely a baby herself at the time, (as 5 in the grand scheme of things isn't that old), but I didn't say that to Daisy as she didn't really know the concept of death yet, (I mean adults sometimes struggle with the concept of death, so of course a child doesn't know).

"Yeah Baby, even when you're 80, and nothing that happens will ever change that you're my Baby, ok?"
"That's an awfully long time Daddy"
"It is Darling, you're right, but that doesn't mean that it's not true"
"Ok Daddy"
"(Kisses forehead), I love you Baby"
"I love you too Daddy"
"You have a good day now Darling"
"I'll try"

So I left to go to work, as you do, the walk wasn't too far so I was grateful for that small mercy here, I knew that it was going to be a hard day emotionally, but I was not prepared for it being this hard though, (not that I thought about it much with trying to keep it together for Daisy's sake), but I tried not to think about it while I was at work as I knew that I would struggle to finish the day out.