Oops a Daisy

Twenty-three

Tony Pov

It was a little over a week before Daisy started school in Manchester, which had been worrying Daisy, (as she was a shy little thing), so I tried to lessen her worry about it the only way that I knew, which was hugs and talking, (not that I minded too much as that meant more hugs).

"Daddy"
"Yes Baby"
"What if I don't make any friends?"
"You will make friends"
"But what if I don't make any friends Daddy?"
"Then you'll still have me Darling, ok"
"Ok Daddy"

I could tell that she was still really worried about starting school in Manchester, (and I get why she was, as she was not the most social child), and it was worse because I couldn't think of anything that would actually reassure her about it, (despite the fact that I had done the same thing 30 years prior), (though I had also blocked out a lot of primary school, so I wasn't going to be a lot of help here).

"Daddy"
"Yes Baby"
"When did you decide that you wanted to be a teacher?"
"Well, I, uh, well I knew that I wanted to be a teacher because of a guy named Harry Nicolson"
"Was he a teacher?"
"No Sweetheart, he wasn't"
"Then how come he was the reason you became a teacher?"

Yeah, did I just unknowingly open a can of worms that I knew that I probably would not be able to close again, of fucking course I knew but I still opened it anyway, for the shits and giggles honestly, (that might be bad coming from a 36 year old bloke at the time).

"Well because he told me that I could be anything that I wanted to be, and so that was when I figured out that I wanted to be a teacher"
"That sounds pretty cool"
"You think so Baby"
"Yeah"
"(Chuckles), I'm glad you think so Darling, come on, it's time for you to go to bed"
"Can you read to me please?"
"Sure Baby, what are we reading tonight?"
"Matilda please"
"Alright Sweetheart, let's go"

So I read Matilda to Daisy, (not the whole book mind you, just a couple of chapters), she was just so entranced by the book that I just wanted to read the whole thing to her, (though that might've been the bookworm in me), but I knew that she wouldn't sleep afterwards, (because she would've been very excitable afterwards).

Anyway, I tucked Daisy in, (as it always felt like a vital step in the bed time routine), she looked really tired but I knew that she wouldn't sleep yet, (I couldn't tell you why I knew this, I just did), (and it was slightly weird to me that I knew as I was shit with my own feelings).

"Hey Baby, are you ok?"
"Yeah, 'm ok"
"You sure?"
"Maybe"
"You wanna talk about it Sweetheart?"
"It's the same thing as it was before though Daddy"
"And that's happens sometimes Baby, it doesn't mean that it helps any less to talk about it"
"But the problem doesn't go away Daddy"
"Well yeah, there's that Sweetheart, but bottling your emotions doesn't help you in the long run"
"Daddy how did you get so wise?"
"I wouldn't say that I'm wise Baby, I've just lived life a little"

I felt awful that I knew that this wasn't helping Daisy like at all, but not being able to do anything else to actually help her here, (well that helped long term), so I did what I knew best, which was to pick her up and hold her in my arms, as that had been the proven method of calming Daisy down, (as I had a feeling that she was going to start crying), (though my feeling turned out to be correct).

"Hey Baby, it's ok, shh, it's ok"

It felt like I was saying that mantra over and over to lie even though I knew most of what I was trying to say to be the truth, but I guess that it could have been because I couldn't fix the problem with what I was saying to her, so there's that to think about I guess.

It was a while before Daisy was calm again, and I felt awful that she was upset because we had to move to Manchester, (as it was move to Manchester or be homeless, so I didn't really have a choice here), but I couldn't do anything about it, though that fact didn't stop the guilt happening here, anyway, I then tucked Daisy back into bed.

"You feeling ok Baby?"
"Yeah, Daddy can you stay?"
"Sure Darling, (kisses temple), you've gotta move up a bit though, ok"
"Ok, I love you Daddy"
"I love you too Baby"