Oops a Daisy

Ten

Tony Pov

The heating was fixed, (thank fuck for that), so that was a plus, I also had most of my Christmas shopping done, so I was less stressed about Christmas than I was normally, (though that was the only Christmas that I was prepared ahead of time for, so take that as you will), (or don't, I'm not the boss of you here).

Anyway we were decorating the Christmas tree, as you do when you decorate for Christmas, (yes, I'm an English teacher that can't describe things that well, fucking sue me, I dare you to), the traditional Christmas songs were almost always playing in the background at this time of year, it was still bloody snowing outside, but honestly I wouldn't have had it any other way.

That might sound a bit bloody sappy to you but it's the truth, (even if I wasn't great with this time of year), I would say sue me but I'm kinda too broke for that to be honest with you here, ya know, (or maybe you don't know, I'm not assuming what you do and don't know here), I will even admit that I was only making an effort about Christmas at all for Daisy.

"Daddy"
"Yeah Baby"
"How do they know that the day they say is Jesus's birthday was his actual birthday?"
"Uh, well, they don't actually know if Christmas is his actual birthday or not"
"Oh, ok, why's that?"
"Because there's quite a bit of debate as to when it was outside of the church"
"Why's that?"

Yeah, I dug myself quite a hole there, but it wasn't like I could take it back, (plus Daisy was not going to back down), so I obviously had to explain what I actually meant by what I said here, (otherwise I would have just created like 1000 different questions about it, and as much as I love that Daisy was inquisitive, Daisy asked enough questions as a 5 year old).

"Because historically the tax collecting was actually done in September or October rather than in December"
"Oh, that makes sense Daddy"
"I'm glad that it makes sense Darling"

I was just glad that I didn't dig myself a hole that was so big that I couldn't talk my way out of it, (though I really needed to stop saying shit that I can't explain straight away to my daughter though, like in all bloody honesty), and I do wish that I didn't say things before thinking about it first, but there wasn't much that I could do about it now that it had been said.

We continued to decorate the tree, as you do, (it's hard to describe, as tree decorating is not my favourite thing ever if I'm being completely honest with you here), Christmas songs were playing as that's part of the tradition I guess, (yeah you can tell that I hadn't long been back into the whole 'celebrating Christmas' thing), (I think I already mentioned the Christmas music).

I then made us some hot chocolate, (see, my thing about hot chocolate being a Christmas thing has come up to surface), Daisy seemed to be enjoying everything that we had been doing thus far, so it meant that all the effort that everything took was at least mostly worth it.

"Thank you Daddy"
"You're welcome Darling"
"Daddy"
"Yeah Baby"
"What was Christmas like when you were little?"
"Uh, well, we all helped with the tree but because there was 7 of us, it was a bit cramped to be honest, we didn't really do much else for Christmas Darling"

Was this a bit of a downer of an answer?, probably, (well it might be more than probable here, but I can't change that it was a slightly depressing answer), but I'd rather not lie to Daisy as that just didn't sit right with me, (maybe you find that weird, but it worked for me here, alright, fucking sue me), but also that was probably part of the reason why I only had Daisy rather than having loads of kids, ya know.

"Daddy"
"Yeah Baby"
"Will our traditions change now that Mummy's not here?"

I didn't think about how Jen leaving would've changed things, especially at Christmas time, as it didn't even cross my mind, (it probably should have but I was also trying to focus on Daisy), I know that it should have done but clearly I didn't think about it too much.

"I don't know Baby, do you want them to change?"
"Hmm, I like the hot chocolate on Christmas Eve, I don't like the fancy clothes on Christmas Day though"
"That's fair enough Sweetheart, we'll keep the hot chocolate then if that's what you want then, that sound good?"
"Yeah!"
"Ok then Baby, that's what we'll do"