Crying Skies, Rain And Discarded Memories

i was hoping

I was hoping I had a body two sizes small,

My thighs a little smaller,

Wish I were a little tall.

Wish the world wouldn’t remind me about, the huge size of my hips,

And the scars on my hands

And my thin and chapped lips.

Wish I didn't have piles of school work left to do,

Wish I finally found the pair of jeans I fit perfectly into,

And maybe one day could pass without me hearing 'why'd you look so sad',

Wish I were a bit on the edge or atleast a little rad.

Wish my voice was slightly better or something out of the box,

And I wish I was straight or society wasn’t orthodox,

Wish my arms were firmer and my teeth a bit more lined,

I know she calls me pretty but I can't help but think she's lying.

I was hoping,

I had a family that wasn’t so broken,

And the one I fell for wasn’t taken,

And I had that smile but I know she's been faking,

And all the crazy things in my head are better left unspoken.

I was hoping we were on the beach,

Looking at a sunset pink and peach,

The waves and sand just out of reach,

I was hoping we still were something.

Wish I was a little smarter and science didn’t fly over my head,

Wish I didn’t feel like dissolving into my bed.

Wish my cats were nicer to each other and didn’t want the butterflies dead,

But life's not fair, well i don't know, because that's just what I've read.

Wish the world was a bit kinder to everyone it attacks,

And instead of algebra you’d be teaching kids morals.

And the cages caging all of us would eventually break,

And I wish I could take my life but it isn't mine to take.

I was hoping we were on the hills,

Away from liquor and the pills.

And we'd take long walks on the dew dropped grass,

Sounds like an impossible task.