35 (this is intentional)

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The lights cast a soft glow in the room, dimmed as though they were. Kaldur paced from wall to wall, muttering in soft Atlantean that I couldn't understand. I turned my eyes down, staring at the marks on my arms. It shouldn't have drawn his attention, shouldn't have made him look at me where I sat in that large green chair. 

"Fuck. What were you thinking?" said Kaldur, voice breaking. He ran a hand over his head. "Oh, who am I kidding? I do not think that for a moment in your life you have ever had so much as one logical thought."

"I'm not an idiot, Kaldur."

"You sure as Hades act like one!" I flinched. Kaldur plopped into the chair opposite of me, and he dropped his head into his hands. "You could have gotten killed,  Percy."

I sank further into the chair, back pressed into the corner. Part of me wished it was softer, so I could vanish entirely. But I couldn't do that to him, not to Kaldur. Each breath I took didn't seem to move my chest. I stared down at my slowly flexing hands. It didn't feel like I was moving them. My soul floated away from my body, tethered by only a kite string. A string tied to the small of my back. Heart hammering against my ribs, I tried to ignore the memories that brought back. 

"You could've died," I whispered. "I- I can't lose you too. If you die, then you're gone and I'm alone here and I wouldn't know what to do."

My arms burned. My body buzzed with contained energy. I needed to move, but I couldn't. Rooted to the chair, all I could was stare blankly at Kaldur while the waterfall gushed and gurgled in the background. 

"I have survived worse, my friend." His pale green eyes were soft now, no traces of anger. He pushed up from the chair. A few swift steps left him in front of me. Smooth hands cupped my face, thumbs stroking against my cheek bones. My eyes fluttered closed. "I know you have as well, but you are supposed to be safe here. We are supposed to make sure you stay safe, I am supposed to make sure you remain that way." Kaldur kissed my forehead. "You are a princess, do not make me accidentally commit treason."

"Ah, so that's all you care about?"

"Well, that and not getting stabbed." 

Kaldur pushed me to the side and squeezed into the space available on the chair. He smelled like tea. He usually did a side effect of him being banned from drinking coffee and relying on tea to keep himself awake, but it was a different kind than usual. Flowery. I didn't ask. 

My fingers tangled with his when he offered his hand. He's safe. He's okay. He's not fried to a crisp. Sniffling, I pressed my head against his shoulder. My instincts weren't usually wrong, why didn't I trust them? Why didn't I do something more that brush it off? 

"Stop that," Kaldur said softly. He squeezed my hand. "You are not expected to keep everyone here safe."

"You don't even know what I was--"

"How long have I known you? I like to think my guesses fare well when it comes to their correctness." He shifted allowing me just a little more space. "You pile everything onto your own shoulders, leaving nothing for anyone else. Every time I have heard you complain about various things, it tends to fall back to you. I could have talked to him, I could have been faster. Every single fucking time someone gets hurt you put all of the blame onto yourself like no other factors existed, like other people cannot be held responsible."

"...They're kids, Kaldur."

"We're kids."

He was right. In a way. I opened my mouth and then shut it, my fingers pressing against my sweaty palm. "We're different," I finally said.

"That- That we are. But so are the others."

"The others get a choice," I hissed, yanking my hand away. "I don't. I have never had a choice about my life since I was born. They can at least control their own fates." I closed my eyes and ducked my head. "I'm nothing more than an extension of the gods' wills, bound to do whatever they want or die trying to resist. For all the gods like to go on about us not being bound by ancient laws or what-have-you, demigods exist to serve immortals."

Kaldur sighed. A gentle hand tilted my head, while his other wiped away the wet tears slipping down my face. Picking me up was easy for him. So was laying across the arms of the chair with me on his chest. Warm arms wrapped around me, holding me close while a soft purr rumbled through Kaldur's chest. Tension melted out of my body, 

"I hate this." My voice was mumbled against him." 

"I know."

"You really don't."

He brushed his fingers through my hair. "On the bright side, none of us died. And this should not happen again. Batman said he was going to overhaul the security protocols, which means you will get to go home for a while."

I laid there, letting the words sink in. The ricocheted in my brain, never quite settling. Kaldur seemed to take that as a good thing, since his purring began again. I'd get to go home. 

But the Manor wasn't my home. 

So, I gave up on the chapter that was supposed to come before this that I'd been working on for several months so instead you get this

I might go back and add it so that's why the number is 35

Anyway idea chain goes here as normal ------->

Thank you, happy new year!

And Im gonna go get food

See yah

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⏰ Last updated: Feb 04, 2023 ⏰

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