Chapter 15

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I brought all the books upstairs and as I was going up the stairs, Brendon called out,

"Want to start learning guitar or do you want to go swimming?"

"Neither," I said, and slammed the door to my room.

A few minutes later, there was a quiet knock at the door.

"Go away," I said. The door opened anyway.

"Jess, c'mon.  What's up?" Brendon said, coming and sitting beside me on the bed. I rolled over and faced the wall, away from him.

"Nothing," I said, hugging Mr. Bunny.

"Oh, of course. When I have nothing going on, the first thing I do is slam my bedroom door and sulk on my bed."

"I'm not sulking," I sulked.

"Mhmm. C'mon. Talk to me. I'm here for you."

"It's nothing," I mumbled.

"Right," Brendon said. "Well, I'm just going to sit here until you decide you want to tell me what's wrong."

"You'll be sitting a long time," I said.

"Well, that's okay. Your bed is comfortable. And I left the door open, so eventually, Bogart and Penny will come looking for us and you'll have two very cute puppies jumping on you. And if you're not careful, I might start singing."

"That's hardly a threat," I said.

"I'm threatening you with a good time,"  he said. I rolled over and looked at him and rolled my eyes.

"I'm going to use my new parental powers and go out on a limb and say you're upset about what happened at the doctor's today," Brendon said.

I shrugged.

"I'm right," he said. "Look, Jess. It wasn't the news we were expecting, either. But all it changes is that Sarah and I realize just how much more special and precious your life is. We don't know how much time you have, but instead of dwelling on that, let's focus on making sure you get as much out of life as you can."

I shrugged.

"Jess, is there more to it than that? Talk to me kiddo."

I shrugged again.

"Well, that's succinct. But it's not an answer. I'm here for you. You're not alone."

"I'm scared," I whispered.

"Oh. Oh, Jess," he pulled me up and into a hug. "What are you scared of, exactly?" He looked into my eyes.

I looked away.

"Jessica, look at me. Tell me, sweetie. What are you afraid of exactly?"

"I'm afraid of dying alone. And I'm afraid it's going to hurt."

"Oh, Jessie. You're not going to be alone. Whatever happens, whenever it happens, Sarah and I will be with you all the way through."

"But, what if it hurts?" I asked.

"I can't answer that, sweetie. I don't know. But we'll be with you, and I'll bet Dr. Roberts will make sure that you're not in any pain."

A tear fell from my eye.

"I don't want to die," I said.

"No one wants to. For some of us, it happens sooner than others. And no, that's not fair. But you're not dying today.  And we're going to make sure that that doesn't happen for as long as possible. We're going to take care of you. We promise. We're your parents. We're here for you. We're with you."

He hugged me tighter. I hugged him tighter and cried into his shoulder until I was cried out.

"Feel a bit better?" he asked, as I pulled away.

"A little, I think. Yeah."

"Good. Do you want to come downstairs, maybe start learning the guitar? Go for a swim?"

"No. I kinda just want to stay here for a while," I said. "Maybe read a book."

"Okay, kiddo. If you need anything, I'll be out in my studio, okay?"

"Okay," I said.

He gave me another hug, looked in my eyes, and ruffled my hair.

I lay back and curled up. I did feel a little bit better, but I was still scared. Less than I had been when I reflected on Brendon's words. I wasn't going to be alone. I had a family who would be with me.

I picked up a book and started reading.

I got bored after a while and it was so nice outside.  I put on a bathing suit and grabbed a towel and went downstairs.  Penny and Bogart were outside in the backyard, outside Brendon's studio door.  When they saw me, they both came running over and sniffing at my feet. I sat down and gave them both ear scrubs and let them sniff and lick my face.

"Hello you fluffy pups," I said. "How cute are you two? Huh? You're so cute!"

I played with them for a few minutes, and then they got bored and went inside to get some water. I dropped my towel on a lounge chair and slipped into the pool.  I just floated around on my back for a while, and then found a pizza shaped pool floatie and climbed on it and lay on my stomach and floated around.  Penny came back outside and barked at me floating in the pool.  Penny was barking like I was in trouble or something because Brendon came out of his studio asking her what was wrong.

"Oh, hey kiddo. I think Penny thinks you're drowning," he said.

"I dunno what she's thinking, but I'm just floating around,"

"I see that. Feeling better than before, are you?"

"Yeah. Thanks." I smiled up at him.

"Good," he smiled back. "I was thinking we could barbecue again tonight?"

"I guess," I said.

"Are you in the mood for something else?" he asked.

"No. Not really," I said.

"Okay. Cool," Brendon said, and he went into the house.

He came back out in a pair of swim trunks and did a backflip into the pool, splashing me. I laughed.

"You have a great laugh, kid," he smiled. "So I've spoken to my media company and they're going to put out a press release tomorrow about you and us. I suspect there will be some calls for comment and interviews. Are you ready for that?"

I shrugged.

"Well, I'll be with you anyway. And Sarah too, probably."

"Do I have to say anything?"

"Not if you don't want to. But when we introduce you to the fans on Instagram I'd like you to at least say 'hi'," he said.

"Hi," I said. "I think I can manage that."

He splashed me.

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