Forever As That Boy

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I mourned
Losing you,
And I regretted
Not telling you
All the ways
You made me feel.

For I missed
Your touch.
It made me feel alive
And I missed the way
You made me laugh.
It always made me feel like I was on cloud nine
Oh,
Those still are some of
My favourite memories
Which I am glad
I can forever call mine.

But as we drifted
And as I
Watched you grow
From afar,
I knew that you had changed.
And although that truly
Saddened my heart,
Knowing how
You really are now,
A part of me is glad
I never expressed
My feelings to you
Despite the occasional despair
And throbbing pain.
And honestly,
A part of me
Could still go
On and on and on
About you.

But somehow,
As time passed on by
I slowly began to forget
The little things about you.
The details began fading
Into something vague and hazy
Because I knew
That you never really
Meant that much to me,
Because I was much too young
And never actually
Loved you.

And to be truthful
At that time,
I was lonely
And needed some company
So therefore,
I turned to you.
But guilt
Back then
Was something I did not feel.
For deep down
I knew that
You were using me too.

And so,
In my memories,
You will forever remain as that boy.
The one who made me
Both laugh and cry.
But that is all
You really are to me now;
Just someone
Who had been a part
Of my distant past-self.

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