Broken, a Destiel Story

Part 9

Artist credit>euclase

"Cas," Dean said as he rushed over to his friend.  He reached the angel and took his bloodied, bruised face into his hands.  "Cas!" he yelled, trying to wake him.  He put his fingers to Cas's throat.  He was alive, but barely.  "Come on, man, wake up," he pleaded, fighting tears.  He noticed the wounds on the angel's chest, blood staining his bare skin.  "God, Cas, what did they do to you?"  He took the cuffs off of the angel's wrists and reached behind him to scoop Castiel into his arms.  

But as he did he felt something protruding from the angel's back and lowered him into a nearby chair instead, starting to freak out. "What the . . ." he said and moved around to the back of the chair.  His eyes went wide when he realized that what he had felt were Castiel's wings.  Big, beautiful, black wings that dragged the ground behind the chair.  Or at least they would have been beautiful if they hadn't been mangled and broken, the dark feathers torn and shredded, covered in blood.  "Holy crap," he whispered to himself, simultaneously in shock from being able to see Castiel's wings, and at what his captors had done to them.  He snapped himself out of his shock and anger and scooped Castiel into his arms.  

"Dean," he heard his brother's voice from the doorway.  

"Sam," Dean said, "he's alive.  We gotta get him out of here.  Where's Gabriel?"

In an instant they were back in the bunker in one of the spare bedrooms.  "Okay," Dean said.  He gently laid Castiel down on the bed, trying to avoid causing any more damage to his wings.  They felt so fragile against his hand.  

"Can you fix him?" Dean asked with hopeful eyes, looking at Gabriel.  Without his help they wouldn't have made it this far but Dean wasn't letting him go just yet.  Cas needed angel grace to get better and Gabriel was his only hope.

"I can," Gabriel said.  "But not completely.  I've never seen wounds like this on an angel before, Deano.  What they did to him," Gabriel shook his head . . ."it's going to take time to heal.  We'll have to take it slow cuz too much too fast and it will do more harm than good."  He walked over to his brother and rested a hand on his head.  A glow emanated from Gabriel's hand and washed over Castiel's body.  When he stepped away the blood that had covered Castiel's face and chest was gone and his eyes were no longer swollen.  "He'll live," he said.  "I've healed his broken ribs and the concussion.  The most difficult part will be the wings."   

"How did they do that to him?" Dean asked, staring at Cas, his wings spread out on either side of him, bent at odd angles from all of the broken bones. They were large enough that they hung over the sides of the bed.  Black as night at the top and middle, and fading slightly towards the tips, where they became a brilliant white.  Even with all of the damage they were breathtaking.  Dean felt rage building inside him as he looked at how bloodied and torn and broken they were.  He could only imagine how much pain Cas had had to endure. 

"There's an ancient Enochian spell," Gabriel said, "that causes an angel's wings to be exposed and seen by the human eye.  It's incredibly painful, and I've never seen it done before.  But it's also the most effective way of torturing. Angels' wings are very strong but also very sensitive.  Having them broken or ripped apart . . . "

"How do we heal his wings?" Sam asked.

"I can't do much about that unfortunately," Gabriel said.  "That process is slow, and painful.  And unfortunately it has to happen on it's own.  First his body will heal, then over time his wings will start to repair themselves."

"What about the blood?" Dean asked.  "Can you at least get rid of that?"

"He'll need help getting it washed off eventually," Gabriel stated.  "But for now it would only cause him more pain."

Dean nodded again and wiped away the tear that fell down his cheek.  "Why did they do this to him?" he asked in a whisper, more to himself than anyone else.  Unfortunately they'd killed all the angels before getting the chance to ask them that, so Dean would just have to wait until Cas woke up.  

***********

Two weeks had gone by and Cas was still unconscious.  Sam watched his brother get angrier and angrier, more filled with grief and doubt, wondering if Cas would ever wake up.  Dean hardly left Castiel's side.  He barely slept, or ate.  He barely even talked to Sam.  It was like he was in his own little world.  Sam couldn't stand seeing his brother like this.  He desperately wished there was something he could do to bring Cas back.  He tried distracting Dean by suggesting cases but Dean refused to leave.  He wanted to be there if and when Cas woke up.  

Honestly Sam was starting to lose hope too.  Gabriel had said he would be okay, so why wasn't he awake yet?  Sam was on his way to Castiel's room where he assumed Dean would be, when he heard Dean's voice and stopped outside the door, listening.  He could tell Dean was crying, but it was the most he'd heard him talking since they'd brought Cas home.

"Cas," Dean said through tears.  "I don't know if you can hear me, but if you can . . . please, please wake up. I'm so sorry.  I'm so, so sorry.  I never should have left you alone."

Sam started to feel like this was a conversation he shouldn't be listening in on, so he slowly backed away.  He would talk to his brother later.

*********

Dean took a deep breath, looking at his friend, his angel, and more tears fell.  He reached out and slowly, gently took Castiel's hand into both of his and rested his forehead against them, sobbing.  "Please, Cas . . . I need you.  I can't lose you again." 

And then he realized, he didn't care any more about what anyone else thought, or how scared he was.  He had to tell Cas how he felt. He had tried so long to deny it, to shove it aside, to pretend that it wasn't real, that it would "go away."  But he couldn't any more.  Whether the angel could hear him or not he didn't know, but he had to say something.  He had to tell him. And even though Gabriel had said he would wake up Dean wasn't so sure anymore, and this might be his only chance. 

"Cas, I've been such a coward," he said, more tears starting to come.  He continued to hold the angel's hand tightly and looked at him.  "I don't know why it's taken me so long. I should have said something to you as soon as I got you back from the Empty.  I told myself that what I felt was just relief.  Relief that you were okay, that you were back. And then, when I couldn't let you out of my sight, I told myself it was because I was protecting you."  Dean sniffled, looking at Castiel, his eyes red. "But I knew that that was a lie, Cas. Those things were true, but I knew that . . . " More tears fell and he wiped them away. He looked down, biting his lip, and then back up at the angel. ". . . that I had fallen in love with you, Cas," he said.

He smiled now, surprised at how much happier he was just having said it.  His heart felt so free. "I fell in love with your smile, and your laugh," he continued. "I fell in love with your damn trench coat and crooked tie.  I fell in love with your voice, your eyes, and your incredible heart.  I fell in love with your awkwardness and your passion.  I fell in love with you, Castiel," he said.  "So please . . . please don't leave me.  I need you."