Epoch | JENLISA | on-going

Inherently Nice

"Are you gay?"

Sputtering her drink, she coughed and coughed until she turned red. I could only watch her in mild amusement and slight concern at her reddening face but my thoughts drifted back to what happened in Daegu.

She glared at me while wiping the tea that was dripping on her face, "I don't usually curse much but what the fuck?! A heads up would be nice!"

I flinched from my seat which was only across hers and grinned half heartedly. "Sorry... are you?"

"Jennie, I have no grudge against LGBTQ+ but today is not a good day and I swear to God, ask me that one more time and this mug will fly towards you." She muttered under her breath and by the tone of her voice, I knew she wasn't kidding.

I sighed and stirred the bland coffee in my cup. I could feel her eyes on me but I decided to just look down since the brown liquid was so reminiscent of the warm orbs of Seulgi's or Lisa's eyes. Warm and swirling with kindness.

"Jennie," she softly called for me, her voice receding to a careful tone. "Can I ask why you asked me that?"

"Irene's gay." I was expecting another sputtering of drink but she only looked at me with a small frown before shaking her head.

"No, I think she's bisexual."

"You knew?"

"I was invited to their party but I couldn't make it. You were there?"

"I-" Sucking in a breath, I pinched the bridge of my nose. "I was. With Lisa. I didn't- I didn't know it was her party... Their engagement party."

"Oh." She reached for my hand and gave it a squeeze. "Did it bother you when you learned about it?"

The answer died on my tongue before I could speak of it. I didn't know the answer and she saw it in my face. "Talk to me, Jen. What's bothering you?"

Her brown eyes were soft under the fluorescent lights and it was again reminiscent of Irene's cautious ones while we were under their kitchen, talking.

Flashback

To say I was dumbfounded was an understatement. I couldn't even meet her eyes when she pulled me to somewhere quieter. I didn't know what to say that when we reached their kitchen, Irene and I were both standing at the opposite side of the table. Our faces said everything for us as our thoughts and emotions swirled into one incorrigible mess.

If anyone would come inside, they'll probably get the vibes that maybe I was an ex or something with how palpable the awkwardness between us. Thankfully, the party outside seemed to not be bothered by this news... that the great Irene Bae is gay. The prettiest person I have literally seen is gay.

I was still digesting that information and Irene seemed to give me time or she was also clueless on what to say so we didn't speak for awhile. I tried to open my mouth and speak but my throat was clogged and my mouth felt like I've eaten saw dust. Irene kept glancing at me, probably guaging my reaction, waiting for me to speak to react or burst like how I did when I found out about Lisa's sexuality. Or maybe she was waiting for the worst, me uttering slurs and to call her out on it.

That I wouldn't do. Not because I was in her house but because I was not the person I was before.

I tipped the drink that I have been nursing for a while. The liquid was bland and dilute as it travelled down my throat in one go. It didn't burn that much since the ice has melted but I wished it did. I wish it burned its path down and jolt me awake from this weird shit- from this awkwardness between us.

I gave Irene a brief glance and saw her looking somewhere, a smile was visible on her face. When I followed where she was looking at, I gulped again because the picture frame held a picture of Irene and the girl who told me to scream to lessen the burden... who offered me kindness when here I was, questioning what they have.