Light Up The Sky

Chapter 08

Art is my shot of sanity. It had saved my life countless times over. It filled the hollow of what I couldn't articulate through actions.

Kaya kahit ayaw ni daddy na nakikita akong gumagawa ng mga bagay na may kinalaman sa arts, palihim ko pa ring ginagawa. Because when I don't use this gift of mine, being able to express myself through arts, I go insane.

Am I despicable for not obeying my father?

Am I selfish for doing the things he told me not to do?

Am I bad for not respecting his decision for me?

Minsan 'yan 'yung mga tanong na sumasagi sa isip ko sa tuwing ginagawa ko ang mga bagay na makakapagpasaya sa akin. Pakiramdam ko, sobrang maling sumuway.

Pero minsan, gusto ko ring maging matapang na gawin 'yung bagay na gusto ko talaga. Gusto kong magdesisyon para sa sarili ko. Dahil ang pagsuway ang nagpapasaya sa akin.

Kahit ito na lang.

Kahit dito na lang ako malaya.

Ipinatong ko ang hawak na acrylic palette sa aking mga binti at sumandal sa upuan habang pinagmamasdan ang ipininta ko. I painted myself with my new friends.

There's Josh and Tristan who I painted like they're being makulit. Si Alex na nagpapa-cute habang nakasukbit ang braso kay Kiara kahit mas matangkad siya rito. And Kiara doing the same to me. Tapos sa tabi ko ay ang matangkad na si Liam.

He's smiling on the portrait because he always does. I always see him smiling. Pakiramdam ko nga ay hindi na mabubuo ang araw ko kapag hindi ko nakita ang matingkad niyang ngiti.

We look happy amidst the green garden. Above us is the blue sky with the soft accents of white. There's also Pascal near us.

Napahigpit ang hawak ko sa acrylic palette na hawak dahil sa sayang nadarama. Whenever I reminisce about the day they visited me here to celebrate my birthday, I couldn't help but feel kilig. Nakakatuwang isipin na mayroon na akong bagong mga kaibigan.

"Hi, beautiful. What made you happy today?"

Napalingon ako sa nagsalita sa likod ko. It's Liam. He'slooking at me with that contagious smile lifted on his tender lips. Tila kanina pa siya roon na pinagmamasdan ako dahil nakasandal siya sa threshold ng pintuan habang nakahalukipkip. His ankles were crossed, too.

When he averted his gaze from my face to the portrait in front of me, that's when I look at his wholeness. He's wearing a light pink oversized shirt and black shorts. His hair is quite disheveled but it looks so fine naman.

Liam is the type of man who can pull off anything and he will be as gorgeous as he is. It's natural to him to be gwapo all the time.

Ang ganda siguro ng genes ng mommy at daddy niya. I want to see them tuloy. I'm curious on how they look like.

"Can I enter?" tanong niya, dahil siguro hindi niya makita nang mabuti ang kabuuan ng canvas.

Tumango ako at hinayaan siyang umupo sa tabi ko. Medyo umusog lang ako upang makita niya nang maayos ang canvas ngunit sobrang lapit lang ng pagitan namin. I could smell him.

He really smells like a baby.

"Why are you smiling?"

"Ha?" Sinalubong ko ang tingin ni Liam na nakatitig na sa akin ngayon.

Medyo nakataas ang kilay niya pero hindi siya mukhang masungit. In fact, there was an amused expression on his face. But he's fighting it by biting his lower lip.