Madison laid in her bed, engulfed in Dom's arms. It was silent in her bedroom but it was a comfortable silence. It didn't last long though. "Why didn't you tell me he said all of that to you? This whole time I could have been trying to change those thoughts of yours." He wasn't mad at her, he was more mad at the situation.
She stayed silent for a moment and snuggled into him further before she responded. "There's no changing them. They are already drilled into my mind." He didn't know what to say to that. He wanted nothing more than to help her let go of those thoughts and the fact that she said he couldn't really broke his heart.
"Just because you say it's impossible doesn't mean I'm going to stop trying." He meant what he said. He was never going to stop trying. She meant way too much to him for him to just give up when things got hard. Madison felt her heart swell over his words. She really hoped he could change her mind.
She untangled herself from his hold and wiggled out from under the blanket. She rolled over to straddle his waist, her bright blue eyes locking on his green ones. "Do you really think my mind can be changed?" She mumbled, hopeful that it could be. She wanted nothing more than to be fully happy with him.
"Of course. Maybe not today or tomorrow, maybe not this month or even this year. But I promise you I will change your mind one day." She found herself smiling in the darkness, the only light coming from the moon shining through her balcony door. He reached up to wrap his fingers around her padlock necklace this time before pulling her down closer to him.
"You better watch being so nice to me. It just might make me fall in love with you." She whispered, her nose lightly brushing his.
"Who said I didn't want you to fall in love with me?" That caught her off guard momentarily and surprised the hell out of her. She could see herself loving him. She wanted that so badly. But she was terrified to let her guard down and fall in love with someone again. Maybe one day.
She closed her eyes and kissed him with everything she had left to give, her hands coming up to cup his cheeks. Kissing him felt right to her, being with him in general did. It felt as if it were fate that made her text his number instead of someone else. She felt butterflies form in her stomach.
When she pulled away, she began feeling sad again. She couldn't help it. The voices in her head kept telling her that this wasn't real. There was no way that someone like him could ever love someone like her. It just wasn't in the cards that she was dealt.
She was afraid of getting her hopes up and having them crushed once again. She didn't think she would be able to survive round two of heartbreak. She was already getting too attached to Dom. She needed to put some space between them. She didn't want to depend on him too much and him leave.
Even though he swore he wouldn't, guys tended to lie to get what they wanted. Dean proved that to be true. He made her all the same promises, and broke every single one of them. She quickly climbed off of him and rolled over on her side facing away from him. She couldn't let herself fall for it again.
"Maddie, what's wrong?" He asked her but she didn't say a word. She just laid there and cried, biting her bottom lip to keep any sound from slipping past her lips. Dom waited for her to say something and when she never did, he let out a soft sigh and got up out of bed. He headed back to the guest room thinking he did or said something wrong.
Once he shut the door and was gone, she finally let it all out. She hated herself for not being able to trust someone who was probably being genuine all because of one guy who treated her horribly. She wanted to be with Dom, to fully allow herself to love him but she also didn't want to be broken even more than she already was.
She sat up in bed and grabbed her song book before grabbing a pen and writing down her feelings in the form of lyrics.
I'm tugging at my hair
I'm pulling at my clothes
I'm trying to keep my cool
I know it shows
I'm staring at my feet
My cheeks are turning red
I'm searching for the words inside my head
'Cause I'm feeling nervous
Trying to be so perfect
'Cause I know you're worth it
You're worth it
Yeah
If I could say what I want to say
I'd say I want to blow you, away
Be with you every night
Am I squeezing you too tight
If I could say what I want to see
I want to see you go down
On one knee
Marry me today
Guess, I'm wishing my life away
With these things I'll never say
It don't do me any good
It's just a waste of time
What use is it to you
What's on my mind
If ain't coming out
We're not going anywhere
So why can't I just tell you that I care
'Cause I'm feeling nervous
Trying to be so perfect
'Cause I know you're worth it
You're worth it
Yeah
If I could say what I want to say
I'd say I want to blow you, away
Be with you every night
Am I squeezing you too tight
If I could say what I want to see
I want to see you go down
On one knee
Marry me today
Guess, I'm wishing my life away
With these things I'll never say
What's wrong with my tongue
These words keep slipping away
I stutter, I stumble
Like I've got nothing to say
'Cause I'm feeling nervous
Trying to be so perfect
'Cause I know you're worth it
You're worth it
Yeah
Guess I'm wishing my life away
With these things I'll never say
If I could say what I want to say
I'd say I want to blow you, away
Be with you every night
Am I squeezing you too tight
If I could say what I want to see
I want to see you go down
On one knee
Marry me today
Guess I'm wishing my life away
With these things I'll never say
These things I'll never say
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FanfictionA story in which an 18 year old girl who struggles with her mental health, texts the first number she types in, desperate for someone to help pull her out of the darkness. Madison Baker: Avril Lavigne TRIGGER WARNING!!!!!!!!!! thoughts of suicide...
