SAVE ME

THIRTY-FOUR

When she found Dom, he was sitting on the couch with Colson, passing a blunt back and forth between them. She knew Dom smoked weed, this was just her first time actually seeing him do it.

When he locked eyes with her, he extended the blunt out for her to take with a small smile. "Wanna smoke with us?"

She was hesitant at first due to how it affected her the last time. She wasn't sure if she wanted to go through it again but found herself reaching for it anyway and bringing it to her lips.

She only took a few hits before she began coughing and handed it over to her brother who gladly accepted it. "Don't take so many hits until you are used to it, Mads."

She ignored him and focused her attention solely on her boyfriend who was staring at her in confusion. "Can I talk to you in private?" She asked him to which he got up and reached out for her hand.

She lead him up the stairs to her room before she locked the door and sat down on the bed, him taking a seat next to her. "What's on your mind, love?"

Madison took a few minutes to collect her thoughts before turning to face him on the bed.

"I just wanted to apologize for my behavior earlier. I should have listened to you and trusted you. I should have let you help me like I normally do instead of running to Rook like I did."

Dom was smiling ear to ear as he reached out to pull her closer to him, his arms slipping around her securely. "Baby, I get it. I get why you did what you did. Rook is your best friend, some things are better discussed with your best friend. It's no big deal."

She wanted to tell him the truth about what was happening in her mind when she heard all those things being said about her. It wasn't pretty, but it needed to be addressed.

"It's not okay. My boyfriend needs to know just how much that stuff bothered me." He was giving her his full attention as he waited for her to speak her mind and open up to him more.

"I felt like a waste of space, Dom. I didn't want to be alive anymore because I felt like a burden. I don't want to feel that way, it's not a good feeling."

Dom felt saddened by this, he hated it when she felt this way. "Maddie." He only called her that when he was being serious and wanted her to listen to him. "You're not a waste of space or a burden. The people who love you, also love having you around."

Madison gave a half smile at this, she knew deep down that she had people who cared, the negative always just seemed to have some kind of power over the positive. And the negative always won.

"Do you know what it feels like?" She asked, referring to her dark thoughts. She wanted to know if he ever experienced the same things that she did.

"Of course. Everyone has negative thoughts. It's just how you handle them that's the most important. You have to know when to ignore them before they get to be too much and consume you."

"How do you do that?"

"It's easier said than done, I know. But you have to always remind yourself that you are better than those negative thoughts. You are worth more than they let you believe."

She didn't know how she would be able to do that, but she was more than willing to give it a try. "You do make it sound so easy."

"I'm going to show you just how easy it is. Right now, I want you to name five things you love about yourself." He was trying to come up with an exercise that would work for her and keep her from getting too caught up in her emotions.

Madison really gave his question some thought. She couldn't remember the last time she thought of herself in such a way. Maybe it would be nice to try to for once.

"You don't have to come up with five if you can't think of that many things right now. Just do your best and think of as many as you can."

She loved the fact that Dom was so understanding. She didn't feel rushed to get better. "I love my singing voice. It's actually pretty good despite what my head tells me. I'm not as horrible as I tend to think I am.

"That's good! Can you think of anything else?" He was so proud of her for at least trying. She was putting in effort to try and be better and he was beyond happy for her.

She was smiling brightly over him being so excited. She was making him happy so she decided to continue. "I love how my eyes are the color of the ocean."

He loved that about her too. He could get lost in those deep baby blues for hours and not even notice. "You're doing great, baby. I'm so proud of you."

"I love how I can still defend myself when when i'm hurting on the inside." She was referring to when she smashed a glass cup over Dean's head. Her mental health was going to shit but she still stood her ground.

"You did great." He mumbled to her as she climbed onto his lap and slipped her arms around his neck.

"Thank you for believing in me. You're honestly perfect." But he was far from that, she still didn't know about what he went through on a daily basis. She only knew what he wanted her to know.

All this time he was trying to get her to open up and completely dismissed the fact that he needed to do the same.