Romeo + Juliet | s.r

Chapter 13

Emily's POV:

I was losing blood fast.

The shot was to my stomach, dangerously close to my left gastric artery. Maybe he'd hit dead on, and this was it.

Not that I would mind. After Peyton, nothing had been the same. I couldn't see any of the BAU members without being reminded of her. I knew it was just the stages of grief, but I just couldn't take it. So I took the easy way out.

I filed in my resignation to Hotch, and sent in my resume for a boring desk job in London. 9-5.
I thought I was finally getting over her. Slowly getting over Peyton's bright smile, her laugh, her long blonde hair.

Her. I thought I was over her and her death.

Then Spencer called. He begged for my help, convinced that someone pushed her. Before him, I'd never even thought about it. Because it was the latter, why would anyone push her? My best friend, my soulmate. She was so nice to everyone. Why would she have any enemies?

In that moment, I realized that in the process of chasing my acceptance, I'd left behind the only person who I knew was suffering just as much as me.

Spencer loved her and she loved him. Till the end, I only hoped it was just a crush. Until she told me, she told me how much he meant to her. And I realized, there could never be a me and her. Simply because it was always just supposed to be him and her.

There could never be a Rose and Juliet because it was only ever supposed to be Romeo and Juliet.

Sometimes, when she was still here, I'd feel pangs of jealousy. I'd see how she would look at Spencer, and how he'd smile at her. That was love. I never felt it, but I recognized it when I saw it.

Then, she'd left me that voicemail. Later, I'd come to realize that I was the only one who got a goodbye. It wasn't proper, but at least it was something. Poor Spencer had gone to sleep assuming she'd be by his side when the sun shone through his windows, and lit up her face.

I never got to tell her I loved her, purely because she didn't need to hear it from me. She needed to hear it from the person she loved; Spencer Reid. My co-worker, my best friend.

Perhaps, that's why I felt so guilty for leaving him too along with the others. So, when he told me he didn't want anyone else to know about Ohio, I complied. In my stupid, twisted up mind, I just wanted to make it up to him. Because it was a sin that I loved her, when she so clearly belonged to him.

My little emo girl. She'd always call me that. I would do anything for her, and I knew Spencer would too. Somehow, we'd do this together, just like old times. We'd get her justice.

We were just two friends, co-workers, lovers even, stranded out in the sea of this so-called small world, trying to do the right thing. Just driven by the hurt and anger we have left inside our hearts, who once beat for someone else.

"Emily! Please, I'm begging you. I can't do this without you." A broken voice drowned out my thoughts. My eyes fluttered open. There he was. Tears stained his cheeks, and it was then I decided to fight. Everyone he ever loved left him. The last thing he needed was to lose me too.

I fought so hard to keep my eyes open, to try to regain control of my breathing. Most importantly, I tried to tell him I was sorry. But all that came out, was ragged panting.

As minutes passed by, the pain only got worse. It was getting harder to stay awake, but I didn't want to close my eyes and scare Spencer. Whose hands were currently on my stomach, where the bullet was, trying to stop the blood from spilling out. Weakness overcame me. Lifting my head felt like trying to lift a hundred blocks of brick. The pain in my lower abdomen was starting to numb, and I knew that was a bad sign. It meant my organs were starting to shut down. I'd already lost so much blood. I guess this was it. This really was it. I wish I could tell Spencer how much I loved him, and that I tried my best to hang on as long I could for him. I genuinely tried my best. I'm sorry.