Harry Potter One Shots [x Reader]

Sirius Black

Title: Cardigan

Pairing: Sirius Black x reader

Summary: You love everything Sirius's family hates about him

Word Count: 1.5k

The Fat Lady begrudgingly let you into the Gryffindor Common Room as you shook your head at her behavior. No matter the year, she was disapproving of all Gryffindors students' desire to enter their own Common Room. The idea of this often made you and your friends laugh many days but today you had not been able to find it in you to find the humor in this. Today, you were tired. Well, exhausted was the better word to describe how you were feeling. Now in your sixth year, school was not meant to be easy. After your OWLs, all the classes you were taking were meant to prepare you for your choice of career. It was only logical that your classes were strenuous. However, the day had gotten to you today with the difficult potion Slughorn had you prepare and the exam in Transfiguration had you exhausted. You had only walked back from the Astronomy Tower when you entered the Common Room where it was dimly lit with students either hunched over as they were studying or quietly talking.

The heavy burden of your workload and the exhaustion from the day wasn't enough to prevent you from darting your eyes to where you knew Sirius would be sitting. As you were met with the sight of the three other Marauders in the absence of your boyfriend, a frown tugged on the corners of your mouth as a crease formed on your forehead emphasizing your confusion. Approaching the three of them splayed out on two sofas your perplexed expression only grew tenfold at the peculiar behavior. Between James' prominent frown and worried expression as he stared off in the distance, Remus rubbing his forehead in frustration and a notably stricken expression shining through his eyes, and Peter glancing everywhere with a nervous expression, your worry grew while you had a good idea why Sirius was absent. You had a faint idea where he was and more specifically why.

"James." You greeted quietly, careful not to speak too loudly in fear of startling him. By now you knew how personally James took this and how much he hated when Sirius was upset. It hurt both of you just as much as it hurt him.

He looked over at you as he broke out of his trance. He took in a deep breath as he worriedly said, "He's in his room." He gulped. "He got another letter after dinner when you had Astronomy. You know how he is after..." James trailed off with a guilty expression. He knew what Sirius had to read when the letter came but felt like a terrible friend for not knowing how to help his best friend.

You sharply nodded, well aware of what James was referring to. The frown on your face was just as prominent as his. "How long has he been up there?" You asked quietly.

"Few hours at least," Remus answered. "You know how he gets miserable for hours and wakes up the next morning like it never happened. He doesn't like to talk about it with us..." He trailed off and looked at you. "He only really lets you in when this happens." Remus had no resentment in his tone but held immense sadness that whenever Sirius got a letter the three of them were useless. It would bother anyone if their friend would lock themselves in their dorm as they couldn't do anything to help him.

"I'll go up." You said gently. "He just needs someone."

"Will he be alright?" Peter asked uncomfortably. "He always gets so upset..." He trailed off awkwardly.

"Yeah, Pete he will." You said, though with one glance at James you knew you were lying right out of your mouth. You purse your lips in anguish at the idea of Sirius holed up in his room as he was undoubtedly re-reading the letter that caused him nothing but pain. Looking directly at James who still wore an anguished expression that exactly matched your own, he sent you a nod that confirmed what you were already thinking. "I should go see him." You said softly and with a nod from Remus, you turned up to the stairs.

Entering the boy's dormitory you were attentive to quietly open the door slowly as to not startle Sirius. As the old wooden door creaked open, you were greeted with the sight of your boyfriend - usually confident as happy - now looking akin to shattered glass as he held the weapon in his hands. The letters he received from his so-called mother had a tremendous effect on him. He sat on his bed with his legs bouncing up and down in anxiety. You could see the trembling from his feet against the floorboards to his fingertips gripping parchment. You carefully stepped forward with purpose in each step until you reached the foot of his bed. As you saw him and his pain up close you thought for a minute that it was a good thing that James wasn't seeing Sirius like this. If this broke you, it would destroy him.

"The boys are worried about you." You told him, sitting on the bed. You thought for a moment before adding, "Especially James. He hates seeing you like this and I can tell it hurts him that he can't do anything about it."

Sirius sat with his head hung as his black hair covered his face. You knew from experience that his eyes would be reddened and his cheeks stained with tears.

"I know." He got out hoarsely in a choked voice. "I just - I just don't want him to see me like this. He'll think I'm weak. Maybe I am-"

"You know you aren't." You whispered in his ear as you brought a hand up and soothingly stroked his arm, sliding your hand gingerly up past his shoulder and settling on his back as you rubbed it in comfort. "And so do we."

"She-" he stuttered as he felt the tears come to the forefront again. "She said I was pathetic and an embarrassment to our family."

"She doesn't know you." You said in a firmer but still gentle voice that was full to the brim of love.

He looked as you disbelieving and a broken expression overtook his features. "She's my mother, I'd think she would know me." He looked away from you again and back at the letter littered with ink, which you were sure was covered entirely of insults. "Maybe she's right." He mumbled in a hurt voice. "Maybe I am a poor excuse of a son, disgrace she has put up with for too long-"

You gently pulled his arm nearest you to stop him from reading the letter. His eyes were taken to yours at the action and with one look you saw the thoughts swirling in his mind at that moment and you were certain that each was more poisonous than the last. You knew who he was as did his friends but each letter sent by his mother was enough to have him doubt who he was - how brave, talented, and how very loved he was. It would be frustrating to see the person you loved to feel this about themselves if you didn't understand how the frequent letters would always affect him, no matter how much he tried to pretend they didn't. Sirius played a tough game, pretending that he didn't care what his family thought of him and acting like he loved being the rebel in the Black family. He was proud that he hadn't fallen for the superiority complex his brother had and had broken the cycle of blood supremacy. It was undeniable that just as he was proud that his family found his lack of prejudice disappointing, he was also prone to be affected by his mother's letters.

"She doesn't know you - none of them do." You said sincerely in a tender voice. He only looked at you with bloodshot eyes and mouth slightly open. Despite the red hues that coated his usually warm and gentle eyes, you saw the sincerity that told you he knew that you were telling him the truth. You slid your hand past his back and around the side of his waist furthest from you. "Blood doesn't mean family."

His eyes stayed trained on you as they softened and he gulped, swallowing the lump in his throat that had been there since he saw the familiar Black family crest on the letter a few hours ago.

"We're your family." You whispered passionately. "Me, James, Remus, Peter - we love you, Sirius. It doesn't matter what she has to say about you as you have us." Your eyes plead for him to see what you did, a virtuous person born into a wicked family.

Delicate tears cascaded down his already wet cheeks from your words. Unlike his mother's words that were spun with cruelty and evoked self-hatred in him, your words brought on the very opposite. Your adoration for him spread through his entire being as he felt the love you professed to him replace the harsh words of his mother. Tears still falling down his cheeks, he gazed into your eyes as you nimbly lifted your fingers to his cheeks. Carefully wiping his tears away as you tenderly whispered, "She doesn't deserve your tears."