She Will Be Loved- Ben Tyler Cook

Chapter 49

Josh's POV

January 24, 2020

I yawned as I trudged through the lobby of my apartment complex, and headed to the elevator. I fished out my keys from my pocket after pressing the button for my floor and letting the door shut. The weekend trip I'd taken to visit some friends had lasted a little longer than the weekend after they convinced me to stay, I couldn't say no to a nice getaway. Well, it was as nice as upstate New York could really be. I think I just needed a break from the city. As much as I enjoyed it, I was glad to be back home. Who knew you could get so attached to a tiny NYC apartment? I think the relief of being home was also partially because of how exhausted was. It was late, and I couldn't wait to get some sleep. The elevator dinged, and I got off and headed down the hallway. I opened the door to my apartment quietly, trying not to wake anyone up. I put my jacket away and went down the hallway to put my stuff in my room. As I walked, I noticed the light was on in Ben's room, and the door was wide open. I peered in, only to find Ben sitting on the floor,  slumped up against his bed. This can't be good. 

"Ben?" I quietly said, uncertainly. He looked up, his face seemingly clouded over. "It's 2 am, why are you up?"

"Why are you up?" he challenged. His tone was playful, but I could tell he was upset about something. I chuckled a little, and set down my bags and hovered in the doorway. As I finally got a glimpse of Ben, I noticed his eyes were red and swollen, accompanied by dark circles. His hair was messy, and his face was filled with despair. My stomach twisted as I got more concerned. 

These past few months had been so weird, it felt like I was concerned everyday about Ben. I had no idea what was going on with him, honestly. But he wasn't the same Ben I knew. I've tried everything I could to understand, but I still couldn't. There was obviously something going on that he just wouldn't tell anyone about. It feels like I've tried everything I could to get through to him but it wasn't enough. It was disappointing and aggravating to see him like this- everything he was doing was self-sabotage. Ben was my best friend, and I didn't know what to do. 

"What's wrong Ben?" I asked, still leaning on the door frame. His eyes were still shiny, filling with tears. Ben took a shaky breath, and hesitated a moment before answering.

"I...I, um," Ben stammered. "I broke up with Kasey." For a moment, it felt like the world stopped as he said that and I tried to process the news. I knew things had been bad between Kasey and Ben, I've seen it myself. I've heard their arguments. I've seen the new dynamic between them. I saw the hurt in Kasey's face when the whole Camille situation happened. I saw how it was falling apart. There was countless times where I warned Ben that he needed to quit acting the way he was, because he was ruining the relationship. I cared about both of them, and I hated to see things going this way. He was the one picking fights or getting mad. He was the one who stopped spending time with her. He was the one treating her so badly. So why would he break up with her? 

My first instinct was to yell at Ben. What the hell is wrong with you, why would you do that? Why would you throw away your almost 5 year relationship like it's nothing? Why wouldn't you even try to fix things? Why would you just give up? Why are you so okay with losing her? Why are you acting like this, it's getting old. Get your shit together, I'd say. And let's be honest, he deserved to hear that. But as I looked at Ben, the most distraught I'd ever seen him, I couldn't yell at him. There was clearly something wrong. There had to be something he was going through that he wasn't telling me, an explanation for these past few months. There was a reason why he was the one to break up with her, but I didn't know what it was. I moved away from the door frame, and sat down next to him on the floor. 

"Why? Why would you do that?" I finally asked. It was the watered down version of what I really wanted to say. 

"Because- because she deserves better." My heart sank as I watched how broken he looked. Yes, it was no secret that he hadn't exactly treated her the best these past few months. But why was he giving up like this? Why wasn't he trying to fix whatever the fuck was going on with him? This wasn't him. At all. Something was really wrong, and as angry at him as I was, I still couldn't help but feel bad. Something was wrong, and I was concerned.