Back to The Start

chapter 3

The whole school is rolling fake dice, you play stupid games you win stupid prizes~ TS, miss americana and the heartbreak prince

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Shit."

"What? Who is it?"

Sean. My ex. Blocking the door. Staring at me. Fucking great.

"No one." I grumbled.

Shit. shit shit shit. He's walking over here. Shit. Oh god. Get it together Allie. You have to be friendly with him sooner or later.

I sigh and start to walk forward to meet him halfway.

"Hey." He says as he stops in front of me.

"Hi Sean."

"Uh how are you?"

"I'm good. Just got back about a week ago."

"Cool. How was it? Boarding school I mean." He gestures with his hand and then scratches the back of his neck.

God this is so damn awkward.

"It was good. I'm glad to be back though." I say with a forced smile.

"So listen, everything was pretty new when you left. You know, with us..."

Nope. nope nope nope. Why me God? Why me? What did I do? Never mind don't answer that.

"So uh I just kinda wanted to talk to you about us and tell you again how sorry I am-"

"Look Sean, it's fine. Don't worry about it. I've gotta get to class so" I interrupt as I start walking past him to the door.

"Allie I-"

I power walk into the hallway and practically throw myself into the chemistry lab and sit down.

That was brutal.

•••••

I'm standing in the cafeteria line with heaven in my hands.

Mozzarella sticks.

There's just something about the cafeteria mozz sticks. I can't explain it. They're perfect in every way. Just the right amount of cheese, the perfect stretch, and yummy marinara.

I check out and make my way over to my table with Millie. We usually sit just the two of us, so we can gossip in peace. Classy, I know.

Honestly this is perfect because I have to tell her about my encounter with Sean. She is not going to be happy. According to Millie, if she had the chance, she would castrate him, put him in a box, and leave him in the middle of the Sahara desert to shrivel up and die. Her words not mine.

Sean and I's relationship was, is complicated. We dated seriously for about 8 months. I mean as seriously as you can date as a freshman. During football season of our sophomore year, he started taking performance enhancement drugs. Steroids. I didn't understand what was going on for a while. I was so confused. I couldn't figure out why he was so antsy all the time. I could tell something was off.

I guess the steroids got more serious or more frequent or maybe he started taking different drugs? I'm honestly not really sure but something changed and whatever he was taking flipped a switch in him. A violent switch. One night, I went to his place because I knew something was wrong and I was determined to find out what. I started questioning him and pushing him to tell me what he was taking and why and how often. Big mistake.