DEAR TIMOTHY: THE BOOK // Liskook

Chapter 20: Dear Timothy

LISA POV

2 WEEKS LATER

For the past 2 weeks, I've been alone, in my house. I still can't get over the fact that he's dead. It seems that every day I cry about him. God, I miss him so much. Since the funeral, I haven't been out much. The only time I do go out is when I need some groceries. During that time, I also found that the color black seems to grow on me. I only wear black stuff; the rest of my clothes are in the drawers, dusting away. Hell, I might even donate those clothes that I'm not wearing, as they serve no purpose to me. I've also stepped down from my manager role in Youngrowe, Jisoo's the new manager at the cafe. Anyway, it was early morning; I stepped out to my deck to watch the city view from a far—the wind blowing up against my back to feel the nice breeze.

*exhale*

Since his death, I've had nothing on my mind, not work, not him, and not even my parents, although they have sent their condolences to the Jeon family. My mind, I haven't felt this feeling in a while, was blank. It's actually making me have time to think and remember things I haven't been able to think of in a while. Of course, I try not to think about Timothy too much. But it was already too late; I thought of the things that could've been with Timothy. Of course, I always have that grief feeling inside when I remember the moment it was too late and when his mom told me the news. Small tears drops came out of my eyes, but I was able to control them for a bit. Not cry as much as I did before. 

"*chuckle* Timothy," I looked up in the sky. "Remember the day I showed you this spot. You know you were the first person that I've shown this deck to. I haven't shown this place to Jennie or Jisoo, can you believe that."

The clouds forming into a sky, a shape. I like to imagine that they would turn into an animal, like a cute bunny or something. 

"Timothy, you were the first person I've felt love with," I said. "A~And, I Iet it go to waste."

Here I go again, crying my eyes out for him.

"Why did you have to leave us," I cried out. "I miss you so much."

Soon, the morning skies turned cloudy, and eventually, droplets of rain began pouring onto the deck. I had to get inside quickly. After that, I sat on the couch again and sobbed even more. Well, it looks like I haven't gotten over it yet. Anyway, after I calmed down a bit, I exited the house running in the rain to get to my car. I drove over to Timothy's parent's house to check on them, see how they are doing. When I got to their house, I noticed many workers there, moving things out of the house. At the front step, Mrs. Jeon, watching things pass. I step out of the vehicle and run to Mrs. Jeon.

"Lisa, what are you doing here," she realizes me.

"Mrs. Jeon, I'm sorry for coming here. I didn't realize you were busy," I said. "I just wanted to check on you."

"Oh no, it's fine, dear, please come in," we both walked inside. 

As I walked inside, Mrs. Jeon brought me upstairs to Timothy's room. They were clearing stuff the place out.

"What's happening," I asked.

"We're clearing out his room. We hired a contractor to take out the door. His room will be covered up and will be an addition to the hallway," she explained.

"What, no, no, you can't do that," I said, shocked. "If you do, the only way to get in his room now is if you physically break the dry-wall and~

"Lisa, that's the point," Mrs. Jeon cut me off.

"Mr.s Jeon, with all, do respect, this isn't right," I said.

"Lisa, please, this is me and my husband's decision; we think it's best for us," Mr.s Jeon said, holding my hands.

Again, small tears came. They seem never to stop forming.

"C~Can, I at least go into his room," I asked. 

"Oh yes, of course," and then she brought me upstairs.

Mrs. Jeon had keys that would unlock the door to his room. When she opened it, I went into his room. Pictures of him when he was younger, maybe in high school.

"I'll leave you alone, take all the time you want," Mrs. Jeon said.

"Thank you," I responded.

Once she left, I roamed around Timothy's room. I opened up his closet, and immediately, a box fell onto the floor.

"Oh shit," I mumbled.

I looked inside it, and there was a letter. Not the one I got in the mail in Youngrowe. I opened up the paper, and there was a lot of writing in Timothy's hand.

Dear, my love Lisa

If you are reading, then I'm probably dead. I never really got to say goodbye to you, which I hate myself for. Maybe I shouldn't have forced you to come to me; maybe I should've come to you over at Youngrowe. I feel bad, you know, having to manage the cafe. I know you said that the workers there are good during my birthday, and I hope they still are. I guess there are some things that I haven't said to you yet; when we fell in love on the deck, my head somehow knew that you were the one. Girls usually come and go for me, nothing more but friends, and  I must admit, the first seeing you at the bus stop, I thought you were just going to be the "typical girl," but I'm glad I was wrong about that. Lisa, I was hoping maybe I could grow old with you and have kids, but I guess fate didn't have that coming. Lisa, promise me something, I know I'm gone, and you're probably still mourning over me. But try to go out there, see the world, for me. And if you feel like you're in danger, I'll watch you from the skies. 

From, Timothy 

P.S - You have no idea much I love you