Return My Love || (Hashirama x OC) [ABANDONED]

Chapter 18

Kirai's POV

A new day. An odd day. A day wherein I resume as a shinobi, fighting in the lands filled with blood, destruction, and death.

Tobirama Senju and Hashirama Senju have decided to continue my task as a kunoichi, fighting alongside them and the rest of the clansmen. And why would they decide to do such a thing? That, I have no answer to. For me, at least, it is still quite dangerous to roam around the outside and fight against other clan shinobi, considering the fact that I am still in a state where my mind might betray me.

Yes, I still do not trust myself whatsoever, and that is dangerous if I conclude so. And yes, the fear that is still hiding in a cave of feelings has come out once again as I stood there, side by side, with Hashirama.

Although it is great to be with someone I have grown to love ever since childhood, it is not so amazing when there are high chances I would meet a certain Uchiha again. At first, when I first met Madara Uchiha as a young and clueless child, I would see him as a threat to the clan and to Hashirama, just a mere threat. But when he started seeing me, seeing me as if I'm someone he could practically use, he became a potential threat not only in physical activities but including my emotional state. To me. And he already affected me that much. He already did it with just one look at my eyes.

Hashirama, no matter how kind and sweet he is, shall not hear my underlying thoughts. Thoughts filled with desperation. I fathom the fact that he has total power over me and can use his image himself to uncover my secrets within. And while it is true that I do not mind, I still fear the day where he realizes I am already so far gone.

He would blame himself, he would regret not doing something. I loathed that.

What I only wanted was for him to be happy, and always will be happy. I wanted to protect the man's smiles, his laughter, and the brightness that seems to surround him everywhere he walks. How could a man so precious and so bright exist in such a bloody world? If there are dimensions or other worlds, I would wish he is transported somewhere else that he deserves than this one.

However, fate and destiny would sometimes be cruel to us. We did not ask to be born in this world, we do not want to be born in such a cruel world, it was simply out of our control. But then again, I guess I am thankful for his existence here. Otherwise, I would be too far gone without him. Because he is here, right beside me, closest to my heart, that I am alive and fighting.

"We would leave in an instant!" Hashirama shouted, he looked over to his shoulder to address his soldiers trailing behind him. "Prepare for battle!"

His men cried out a battle cry, their faces stern but fierce and strong as they prepared themselves for the blood and death of comrades.

"Stay in groups! This is to prevent certain circumstances. This could also be considered as an act of comradery, for we must trust each other to protect our backs." Hashirama straightened himself, his chin high and his own brown eyes glowed under the sun. "Let's go!"

We followed the Senju leader, running beside him as we charged the enemy for the day. The same enemy we have fought for generations. The Uchiha clan. I gulped at the thought of seeing him again, knowing that this is unavoidable and inevitable. For the past couple of days, my courage and bravery has been waning due to the hellish situation I encountered with Madara.

It was simply too tempting. Madara... he would give that all to me, right? After all, he promised.

My grip tightened as I held the sword as I thought more deeply. Madara wouldn't lie, would he? I don't know the man, I barely know him. Manipulativeness is his trick, and I may be pulled into his trap once again. His words may have swayed my heart, filled with cruel intent, but he would stick to his promise, right?