Addicted To You

74

"This is my last day here, so if you want to go out with me now, say something," Claudia tells me as she is putting my dishes away.

"I'm ok. I want to stay in today." I sit up from the couch and grip my blanket. It's better than being in that hospital bed.

She sat next to me on the couch and then placed her hands on my knee, comforting me. "Did you not sleep well? The pills are supposed to help."

I shake my head at her. "I didn't want to use the pills. It'll only bring me back to that night all over again." I shamefully place my head down. I don't know why I feel sorry for myself after getting into this situation. I can't help but feel like I asked for it. I had no reason to go to that club. If only Chase spoke to me that day, things might have been different. 

She shakes her head and sighs. "Do you remember anything from the accident?"

"No clue. All I remember is having a few drinks and that's it."

"Okay-" She huffs. "Listen, I know you're most likely going to start going out more and doing certain things with your friends and all. Just be careful, Milly. Please."

"I am careful."

"That night wasn't careful. It was careless. Never take drinks from a guy, and never let a guy take you home while you're drunk. You should always have someone reliable with you."

"And, if you're going to have sex with that boyfriend of yours, use condoms. You wouldn't want your life to end up like your mom, trust me." She tucks my hair to the side. "Or get on birth control."

"Can we not talk about that?"

"Fine, what do you want to talk about then? Did you get the flowers from Nolan?"

"What?" I turn my head towards her. "You knew about it?"

"Yeah, he came by with them but then you were gone, so he put it on the next express delivery. He still cares about you, you know."

"I know he does." I roll my eyes, but I can care less about him.

"Why are you still holding on to that hate?"

"You weren't there. You wouldn't understand."

"Your cousin sleeping with your boyfriend? Hmm, I think I can relate. She wasn't family, but she was a good friend, and even though I was hurt, I forgave them both. He wouldn't let go unless he knew that I forgave him. Did I ever talk to him again? Hell no, but we ended it all on good grounds."

"Are you telling me to forgive Nolan?"

"Yes, but that's your decision, so-" she shrugs her shoulders and kisses me at the top of my head. "I have to head out. You call me if you need anything, ok?"

I nod at her. "Also, have you seen Ellie?" She asks.

Ellie.

I totally forgot Jackson and I were talking about her before the whole thing had started.

I shake my head.

"That's strange. I've been calling her, but it just goes straight to voicemail. I went to the apartment, and she wasn't there."

"I'm sure she'll call."

We said our goodbyes, and I was stuck at home alone. I decided to take a nap since I haven't got much sleep. But, the horrible nightmares keep coming back. I keep seeing my uncle Ritchie and some shadow of a man.

It's like they're haunting me in my dreams.

The day before I left the hospital, Claudia said she scheduled an appointment for me to talk to Dr. Gonzales. Every time I speak to her, I always have something new going on with me. But this time. It's all too discomfiting to speak about.