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Five Years Later

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Five Years Later...

My eyes open, and the sun was the first thing I made contact with. It beamed through the large floor-to-ceiling window. I turned to my side, finding my fur baby snoring next to me. The empty feeling I had for years had come back to haunt me. Time is supposed to heal a wounded heart, but time has been nothing but shit to me.

Five years ago, I was starting college, now here I am in my penthouse in LA with nothing but books, coffee, and my dog Chauncey.

Of course, I stupidly named my dog after my ex, but shit happens.

Four years ago, from today, was the first time Chase had visited me since I left New York. Before I started the fall semester in LA. Things went well, the first year we spent apart was a breeze and honestly kind of fun.

We made it to a year and five months in our marriage. To celebrate, he came and visited me. There was sex, wedding planning and more sex, and even buying a dog. I knew things was off with him while he came to stay. He didn't want to talk about any of it and I didn't want to argue. When Chase left, he went on a summer trip with his mother, Janice, Blair, Celeste, Elijah, and Trevor. I felt like such an outcast. For the first time in my life, I suffered from FOMO.

Then, like time does to people, he got distant.

Our conversations didn't mean anything anymore, he was always so mopey and angry. He didn't share anything with me, and even the guys, Roger and Trevor, stopped sharing details about his day to day. It wasn't enjoyable to talk to him. Half of the time we spoke, he was drunk, and we fought over the phone. Nothing was going right.  I had felt like I was dealing with old Chase Hamilton, and it wasn't fun, especially from a different state. So I grew distant as well.

The day I came back home after my second fall semester in LA, was for Christmas break and we ended it.

I remember that night being the most dramatic, agonizing, heartrending night, and I cannot get it out of my head till this day.

~Past~

I  sat in the taxi that will be taking me back home to my husband. This fall semester has been the best, happiest moment of my life. Last fall semester was a drag and I had no idea what I was doing, but spending a year in the school made me become confident in this new life.

The driver had thrown my belongings in the back of the truck while I wait to leave. I would've brought Chauncey, but it didn't end well the last time I traveled with him. So Brooklyn and Lianna are watching him for me.

I poke my head out the window feeling the cold breeze. The snow Is on the ground, and the Christmas lights are all over the place. This is the one thing I missed most here. I'm watching the city move along as my phone rings in my coat pockets.

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