Addicted To You

118

I couldn't deny I woken up with a flavorsome soreness between my legs. I'm not sure how many times we did it last night, but it was enough to make my inside flutter. Which was a huge problem.

The longer I stayed, the more complicated it would've gotten. And it's already problematized. 

I had done the walk of shame back into my condo. Jess was already there making breakfast.

She looks at me smiling slyly. "Why are you looking at me like that?" I questioned her.

"No reason. Just that you had disappeared, and so did Chase last night. I had to cover for you and tell everyone you went home early. I saw him walking up the stairs after the speeches, and I just had a feeling. So, did you two do it again."

I nod my head in distress and ask her for coffee. I have to sit with the thought in my head that he might not tell Blair, and I'll end up feeling horrible. Or maybe he will. The Chase I knew before would hide the lie until it's found from someone else.

That morning I got a text from Claudia where she asked me if I wanted to join Church with her, Mary and Chase. I imminently denied that offer.

I spent that day working on my writing. Last night made me feel so many emotions in one. I had to dot down my notes on what it was that I was feeling.

One, being that maybe we are bad for each other and need to stay as far apart as possible. But I can't help to think that we are made for each other.

Nolan and I had dated for four years, and he cheated once, yet I don't feel anything for him anymore. Meanwhile, Chase was a war that I had been drafted to too many times, and we came out stronger each time. Maybe this time, we needed that distance to open our eyes to reality.

We needed to work on ourselves. Yet he hasn't done much besides found love with someone else. Or what he claims to be 'love.'

If he had loved Blair, then he wouldn't have admitted to me that he thinks of me day and night while fingering me. He certainly wouldn't have followed me up to his room when he knew what it would have led to.

I wish he were honest with himself.

My doorbell rang, taking me off track. Blair stood in front of it with her hair down and a pink robe on. "Hi?" I stare at her, confused.

"Hi, sorry to bother you. Chase didn't come home last night; I was wondering if you saw him around?"

The image of us rolling around in bed last night popped in my head, and I felt like a complete asshole for telling her that Chase love her, then doing that with him hours later. "I hadn't seen him since the wedding last night. I left early anyway." I clear my throat.

"Yeah, so I've heard." She smiles at me, and I witness her peeping in. "Is that Chauncey?"

I turn myself to see Chauncey sitting behind me, guarded. "Yeah."

"He's adorable. Chase talks about him all the time. Do you mind If I pet him?"

"He's not a friendly dog with strangers." I can start hearing him growling. "Sorry, I am trying to break that out of him."

"That's ok. Anyways, I was checking if you seen him. Nice talking to you."

"Yup." I close the door as she walks away.

Well, that wasn't awkward at all, I lie to myself.

Trevor and Celeste had only been on their honeymoon in Italy for about two weeks now.

They have one more week left till they come back. This morning, I had driven to Rachels to help babysit Elijah. He was still in bed sleeping, and Rachel was in her office talking to some company.