What if this was a dream? || Niki and Wilbur

12 - A diary

Niki writing...

This is my pregnancy diary for my future baby.

Your due date: 3.2.2022

You were born:

3 June 2021

Pregnancy week: 5 + 0

I and your dad have known about you for just a week now and we're still a little bit upset, but already waiting for you. The reason why we are a little bit upset is that I have known your dad for so little time now. We've been officially dating for just a little time but I know that I love him as much as I already love you.

The decision of keeping you wasn't easy before we heard your heartbeat. When we heard it I knew immediately that I can't lose you. I love you so much already.

We haven't told anyone yet but we will soon.

We have started to look for an apartment where we could move together but right now Will is living with me here and he has started a band.

I have felt really nauseous lately and I've vomited many times, but it's a cheap price for you. I hope that I'll be the best mom to you. It's really weird to say that I will be a mom but that's just the truth. And I know that everything is really early and there are many risks but I still want to write to you because of course, we are hoping that everything goes well and you will be here with us next February.

7 June 2021

Pregnancy week: 5 + 5

Today I and your dad have thought about your gender. I think that you're a boy and your dad is so sure that you're a girl. Of course, it doesn't matter which one are you, the important is that you're healthy and you will be yourself! Now I will let your dad wrote something to you...

Hi baby :) I'm your dad, Will and I love you so much. I love your mom as well even though we have known so little time but I would say that love doesn't look at the clock. I'm almost 100% sure that you're a girl but don't take the pressure, you can be whatever and I will love you as much. One more time: I love you.

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"Here is the notebook", Will said and handed the notebook back to me. "Oh, can I read what you wrote?" I asked and Will nodded. "Sure, go ahead", he said and sat on the couch next to me. I read what he wrote and my heart melted all over again. "Will! This is so cute!" I said and kissed his cheek. Will stroked my stomach. "Why are we like already parents even though I have a little embryo in my womb", I said and smiled. "Because that embryo will be our child", Will said and lowered his head next to my stomach. "Right? You're going to be our child", he whispered and made me giggle. "You know Will that anything can still happen, this is so early. Most of the people wouldn't even know yet that they're pregnant", I said and Will nodded. "I know Niki", he said.

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Niki writing...

8 June 2021

pregnancy week: 5 + 6

Yesterday evening I got a message from the doctor which said that we have to come for a check. He hadn't realized how early this pregnancy was. We weren't supposed to hear your heartbeat yet and he thought that something might be wrong. I hope that it isn't, of course. I'm on the bus right now, going to the hospital. Your dad is working today with his new band, so I have to go alone. I'm there soon.

We lost you. Will doesn't know yet. I've been crying for an hour now. I'm too scared to call him. Your little heart started pounding too early and the rest of you were too weak for that. I'm still in the hospital room, you came out with my blood and it's hurting mentally much more than physically. I have to call your dad and he's gonna be sad.

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My heart was beating like a drum when I was calling to Will. Tears still rolled from my eyes and kept my cheeks wet. "Hello, darling!" Will answered. "I'm in a bad situation right now, we're starting to record in a minute, can I call you after our recording?" He asked and I took a deep breath. "Actually no, I have to talk with you", I said and Will went fully quiet. "Okay, wait a second", he said and I heard his saying: "I have to go outside, I'll be back." Then I heard the door closing and Will said: "So, is everything okay?" He asked and I tried so much not to broke down. "Will", my voice shook. "We lost our baby", I whispered and Will didn't say anything in a while and then I heard how he broke down. I broke down as well.

Will:

I sat on the floor and cried with Niki. "Can I come to pick you up?" I asked with a very shaky voice. "Yeah", Niki whispered. "Ten minutes, my love", I said and ended the call. Then I stood up and wiped my wet cheeks. I took a few deep breaths and walked back into our studio. I closed the door and turned to face my band. "I can't record today", I said, focusing not to cry. "You've cried, what's wrong?" Joe asked and put his guitar down. "So, Niki was pregnant. We didn't tell to anyone because it was so early, but now", tears started rolling again and the band member came closer to me. "We've lost our child", now I broke down again. "Will, I'm so sorry", Ash said and all of them hugged me. "I have to see Niki", I said and they nodded. "Of course, it's a big loss", Mark said and I nodded. I took my stuff and left.

I drove to the hospital and when I got there I ran to the hall. I saw Niki sitting there. Her eyes were as red and puffy as mine. "Will", she whispered and stood up. I ran to hug her and there we stood in each other embrace, crying. "I'm so sorry Will, I don't know what I did wrong", Niki whispered while crying. "You didn't do anything wrong, it's okay", I comforted her even though I felt horrible. "Is everything okay?" Some nurse asked when she was walking past us. Niki turned at her and wiped her tears. "We lost our baby", she mumbled and the nurse put her hand on Niki's shoulder. "I know how that feels. I lost my first daughter as well, but I promise that everything will turn great. I have now two girls and one boy and they are my everything, of course losing Tina was a big piece and I still miss her but now she's just the prettiest angel in the sky", the nurse said and Niki hugged her. "Thank you", the nurse whispered. "You're welcome", Niki said. "Now, you should have some time together and prosses this. It will help", she said and continued to her work. We left the hospital.

"Hi mom", I called her when we were back home. "Hello Niki, I can't talk right now, call me later", she said but I stayed strong. "No, we have to talk now", I said with a very serious tone. Mom went silent. "Mom I was pregnant", I said and continued right away: "But I ain't anymore, we lost the child". I started tearing up again. "Niki", mom said. "I am so sorry, how have you been feeling?" She asked. "It's been really hard", I said and sighed. "Oh, and who is or was the dad?" She asked. "He's Will, my boyfriend", I answered. "Oh you have a boyfriend", mom said. "Yeah, and don't even ask we used protection", I said and mom sighed. "I wasn't going to ask that I know that you're responsible. I'm sorry that I haven't kept touch that often", she said and I felt a warm feeling inside me. "It's okay", I answered. 

words: 1368

A/N: I'm sorry.