15 - A fight

814 12 20
                                    

Niki:

I woke up first time from our common apartment. The sun shined straight to my face but I loved it. I felt really nauseous so it made me to stood up. I walked to our bathroom and threw up. I didn't know where Will was. He wasn't in bed but he wasn't anywhere else. I looked to our balcony, didn't see him there either. Then I just decided to do some breakfast. I tried to call him, but he didn't answer. I just ate my breakfast and emptied a few boxes. Then I headed to work.

At the cafe was a quieter day than usual. I tried to call Will again and again but no answer. Then I started to feel worried. I'm a big overthinker so I had thought everything that could have happened. "Can I take a little break?" I asked my workmate. "Sure", she said and I smiled. I walked to the back room and started crying. Of course, I tried to call Will again, still no answer. I used the bathroom and after that checked my phone. One message from Will<3 My heart started beating like a drum. I opened the message:

When is the last opportunity to abort?

My mouth popped open and tears continued rolling. What?

Where are you? I texted.

Home. Will answered.

I rushed away from the backroom. Cecilia looked at me and my red, puffy eyes. "What happened?" She asked and took a step closer. "I have to go back home, for a little moment. I will be back in an hour", I said with so serious face that Cecilia just nodded.

I stood behind our door. Do I want to go in? My hands were shaking when I turned the key in the lock. I stepped in. The whole apartment was fully quiet. I took my shoes off and walked in. Will sat on the couch. "What the fuck", I said walking a little bit closer. Will turned to look at me. "I don't know Niki", he said and I started getting angrier and angrier. "What you don't know?" I asked and crossed my arms. "If I'm ready to this all", he said. "You could have said that a little bit earlier", I raised my voice. "Oh, is it too late for abort?" He asked. "No", I said and calmed a little bit. "Then what's the problem?" Will asked. "Will, you ain't that fucking stupid!" Now I shouted. "I love this thing inside me! I have already attached to them", I almost cried. Will lowered his look. "You want to kill our child", I said and now ran out of our apartment. I cried, I cried so much.

"Are you sure that you're okay?" Cecilia asked when I rushed back to work. "Yeah, I just need to do something distracting", I said and started to clean up the tables. There weren't any customers. "Niki, sit down", Cecilia said and sat down with me. "Tell me", she said and I sighed. "It's complicated", I mumbled. "Tell me", Cecilia repeated. "I was pregnant but it ended before it almost even started. We were sad of course but got over it pretty quick. Now I'm pregnant again and we fought with Will and I don't know, he just said that maybe he isn't ready and ..." I mumbled and Cecilia hugged me. "Look Niki, go back home. Take rest and talk with Will, please", she said and I nodded slowly.

I opened the door quietly and heard that Will was listening to his own song. That was the song for Clarke. I heard how he cried, the last time he cried was when we lost Clarke. I took my shoes off and walked to the living room. "Why I am like this? I'm a man, I shouldn't be afraid", he said to himself, and with that he made me feel so horrible. I started crying and now Will turned at me. "Will", I cried and he stood up. "You can be afraid, I am as well", I cried. "I don't wanna kill our child", he mumbled and I started crying even louder. "I know, I'm so sorry that I said it", I just stand there, and then Will walked closed and hugged me so tightly. "Niki, I love you and I don't wanna fight anymore, I love our child and I don't know what I was thinking when I said any of those things", he mumbled. "You were scared and it's completely okay, I am scared too", I said and Will kissed me.

Niki is writing...

29 July 2021

Pregnancy week 7 + 3

Today I and your dad had our first fight. It was dumb but I think it had to happen at some point like it would be bad if we never fought. This whole pregnancy thing is still so early that I am very confused. I don't even know how it's physically possible that I got so fast pregnant again. Don't get me wrong, I couldn't be happier.

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My phone rang and I saw who the caller was: Hunter. "HUNTER!" I screamed when I answered the phone. "NIKI, what is going on, we haven't talked in ages!!" He sounded so excited. "Yes! Okay, tell me everything, right now!!" I said and took a better sitting position. Hunter told about his new boyfriend, how they've planned to move together and how he met his dad for the first time in 15 years, and how it was so nice and everything. "So how about you, have you healed from the crash?" He asked and I realized that I haven't thought about the crash, in so long time. "Uhm how could I say this", I said and took a deep breath. "Say everything, just how it is", Hunter said and chuckled. "Okay, well, first of all, I am pregnant", I started. "WHAT?" Hunter yelled. "And this is the second time", I added. "WHAT?" Hunter repeated. "Why, or no. I mean what tell me now!" He screamed. "Okay, so first I got pregnant with Clarke, but we lost them, it was very early, and then all of the sudden I got pregnant again. Neither of these was planned, but we're really happy", I told. "You and?" Hunter asked. "Will, you've met him", I said. "Oh, that guy, yeah. The music man", Hunter said. "Yes, the music man", I said. "And we moved together yesterday", I said. "Niki, you're younger than me and you have like a family soon", Hunter said. "But don't get it wrong, I so happy for you!"

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