The Sympathy Screw | 18+

Chapter 25 - Relinquishing Control

Author's Notes:

The theme song of this chapter is:

All to You - Sabrina Claudio

~:~

I arrived back at my hotel room, turning the door handle and letting myself inside. The room was dark and quiet. There was nothing to do and no one here to talk to. And it was still relatively early.

It struck me just how alone I really was in all of this.

I swallowed down my grief at thoughts of missing Andrew. If he had still been healthy and alive, I would still be here in Milan without him.

But I would call him - every morning and every night. I would listen to his soothing deep voice telling me how much he loved me and missed me, and I would tell him the same. His voice on the other end of the phone would make all of the distance melt away. It would be as if we were in the same room and just refraining from touching each other as an exercise in restraint.

It would be so effortless to talk with him. Sometimes we didn't even need words. All we'd have to do is sit and listen to the sound of each other's voices. And when we did talk, even the most mundane things were fantastic. I loved to hear about the minutiae of his day. Give me Andrew talking about the hilarious antics of lazy tenants making excuses for not paying their rent any day.

But there'd be no more talk about lazy tenants. A chill swept up my spine and across my shoulders and I took a ragged breath just on the edge of a sob. He was gone.

I pulled my cell phone out of my pocket and glanced at its notification-less screen reading that it was only ten thirty local time. It was late enough to go to sleep, but I wasn't tired at all. It was four thirty in the United States, so people wouldn't be getting home from work for another. Maybe I could still think of someone I could call, though.

I'd gotten a special European SIM card for use while I was in Milan and was told I could use it to bill the company for any international calls I needed to make, but honestly, who did I have to call? Certainly not Andrew.

I locked the door, set my purse down on the desk, kicked my heels off, and laid back on the bed, about to grab the remote control to the room TV. The previous night, I'd discovered little on that was worth watching, so after a few seconds of vain channel flipping, I gave up relatively easily. I tossed the remote across the bed in frustration and picked up my phone and looked at it, remembering a time long before I knew Andrew was sick.

~:~

Three and a half years ago ...

"I miss you, too," I said into the phone, a little wistfully. This stupid business trip two hours' drive away for training was already driving me crazy and I'd only just arrived earlier tonight I couldn't believe I had to be gone for two whole days more. I wanted to be home with my boyfriend, cuddling on his couch.

"What are you wearing right now, Vi?" Andrew asked. I could almost hear the smirk in his voice.

I looked down at myself. An oversized ripped t-shirt and fleece pajama pants with cartoon kittens on them. "Sexy lingerie," I lied, "The blue babydoll you really like."

"Mmm," Andrew said, "I don't even want to know why you needed to take that sexy one with you, because I can't be mad at you knowing you're wearing it, looking like you do in it. Can you cup your breasts for me through that smooth material, imagining that's me? Or slide the straps aside and bare your breasts?"

I put the phone on speaker and set it down, then lifted the t-shirt and ran my hands along the bottoms of my breasts, imagining that was Andrew.

"Do my hands feel good?" he asked.