Peter Parker One Shots

{Mission: Idiots in Love- A Two-Phase Plan}

Requested by mr_oakiedokee20: Ok, I know that you have a lot of requests, but I have another one. This one isn't WinterSpider tho, shocker I know, it's actually WinterFalcon. (Sam & Bucky) because I also ship that soooo much. Anyways, I was just wondering if you could make a wholesome one shot where Sam and Bucky start randomly calling each other nicknames, and they slowly start to fall in love, and they claim Peter as their child. 😌 You don't have to, of course. Just a suggestion. Also, take your time, I know tou have a lot on your hands.

I tweaked the request a little but I hope you still like it :D

TW: Idiots in Love (as you can see in the title). Sam x Bucky. Hints of Steve x Tony and Wanda x Vision. Badass Nat (although she does nothing but it's Nat). MJ is an icon. Sweet Peter Parker.  Fluff and crack :D

**********

"I'm bored."

"Oh no," Steve immediately got up, "I'm off."

"Till the end of the line motherfucker," Bucky yelled after him.

"Not when you're bored," Steve yelled back, breaking into a sprint, "Go bother Sam or something."

Bucky's eyes lit up.

**********

"Hey doll," Bucky leaned against the counter. 

"Whadya want shitface?" Sam asked, eyeing him over the rim of his coffee cup.

"I'm being nice to ya, babyboy," Bucky said, looking wounded, "And this is how you treat me?"

"Yes."

Nat snickered under her breath as she walked away with her bowl of Lucky Charms.

"I'll steal your coffee, pretty," he threatened.

"Do you want to die today?" Sam deadpanned, "And stop calling me those ridiculous names."

"Nah, I don't think I will... angel."

"Fuck you."

**********

Okay, he had a lot of fun with this. 

It was amusing to see the calm and collected Sam Wilson lose his cool with just a few nicknames. To see him blush and stutter when Bucky turned his charm from the 40s back on.

What wasn't amusing, though, was when he started retaliating.

**********

"Hey doll," Bucky grunted, trudging to the coffee machine like a zombie.

"Morning to you too, babe." 

Bucky's neck snapped up so fast he's pretty sure he pulled a nerve.

Sam raised an eyebrow, a small smirk playing on his lips, "Something wrong, love?" he purred.

'Oh fuck.'

**********

"Gimme the fucking coffee, doll."

"I don't think so, sweetheart."

"I . Need. Coffee!"

"Make your own, pumpkin."

"Er, Mr. Stark," Peter poked his mentor's metal arm, "Are those two dating?"

"NO," both of them yelled together, glared at each other, blushing, then stomped off, weirdly in unison.