Try Me

Bonus Chapter - Jazzy's Interlude

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-family is everything

It was Sunday and I locked myself in the room at the store which doubled as the design and photo studio, with the intention of creating at least six new pieces for the fall. Both Lea and Kira were spending their Sundays with their boyfriends, so I decided to use the time to get creative. I thanked the universe that I could design my very own clothes for a brand that I co-owned with my best friends; everything in my life was going better than I ever could have imagined and I was proud of myself. Sometimes I felt like I didn't deserve it; the voice in my head often told me that it was all a dream and that I would wake up and everything would be gone.

The sound of my phone ringing broke me out of my thoughts, I sighed when I looked at the caller ID but answered nonetheless, "Hello TJ, what can I do for you?" I answered in a bored tone. TJ was determined to get me to go on a date with him, but I kept turning him down; we had a nice conversation at the launch party, but it felt more like I was talking to my brother.

He and Kira shared way too many characteristics and mannerisms for me to even think about going there with him; I saw KiKi like a sister and TJ by extension could only be seen in a brotherly way.

Instead of hearing the witty response that I had grown to expect from him, I was met with the sounds of grunts and moans. I chuckled and hung up because it wasn't any of my business; I resumed my sketches and pretended like it never happened. I wasn't jealous or upset; rather I was hopeful that whoever the girl was could keep his attention permanently. I didn't think that TJ was a bad guy, but I felt uneasy about the way that he'd completely forgotten who I was; I had met him countless times since I knew Kira because her, Lea and I were practically joined at the hip when we weren't in classes during college. The ease in which he'd forgotten me played into a lot of the insecurities that I'd battelled with; I tended to feel invisible when I was around a group of people.

I changed a lot physically during junior year; I'd lost a lot of weight and learned about makeup which led me to the conclusion that his reasons for getting to know me were a little shallow.

Since I'd lost the weight, I was extremely self-conscious and elected to wear baggy clothes as to not draw attention to my body, I was still the same person but I would get way more attention from men and I did not like it.

The weight loss journey was the reason that my boyfriend since High School broke up with me; I was always a confident person, but he seemed to lose his and become insecure and paranoid in the process of me trying to live life as the best version of myself. I was upset at the time but I knew that it was for the best; we were moving to new and uncharted territories in our lives and we would always anchor each other to the past. The only thing that I missed was having someone; I wasn't used to being single and I hadn't dated since High School, I didn't know how Kira and Lea did it because casual dating wasn't appealing to me.

While everything else in my life was progressing, I sometimes felt myself wanting someone to share it with; it didn't help that my two best and only friends were in relationships. I didn't like to dwell on it often because it made me feel guilty and ungrateful for everything that I was blessed with; logically I knew that I would find someone who I genuinely had a connection with and that I just had to be patient, it was just easier said than done. My phone rang again, which was a much-needed distraction from the path that my thoughts were taking me down. I saw that it was TJ calling me back.

"Hey Jasmine, I'm sorry about earlier. My phone was going crazy in my pocket." TJ said, he sounded guilty but he had no reason to.

"It's no sweat and it isn't my business TJ. Just do better, lock your phone and put it on the dresser when you're fucking." I chuckled, one thing he and his sister had in common was that they would over think a situation into being serious if anyone let them.