To Die List(CrankGameplays X Reader)

-XXI-

There was a spider in my bed and it crawled right in front of my face before completely disappearing. Safe to say I'm no longer on that bed or touching it again.

I'm going to try something new with the titles showing which pov it's in (Ethan's or Y/n's) to make it easier to keep track of when I should do who. May not stick, we'll find out (please let me know if you can't see the title number or something is wrong. It's supposed to be -(number)- or ~(number)~. I've had that kind of problem in the past😅)

Ethan's POV

My shoulder hurt. My body felt so uncomfortable. Opening my eyes, I finally understood why. I fell asleep on the cement floor with my hoodie bunched up under my head. Y/n and I were watching a movie, which gave the outcome we were both trying our best to avoid.

I rolled onto my back, giving my shoulder a rest, and let out a small groan as my shoulder gave another unpleasant feeling. I rubbed my eyes in attempt to wake myself up more. For a second, I sat in the silence thinking about the night I had with Y/n.

Wait.

Panic set in as I remembered the reality. I'm not supposed to be here, I wasn't supposed to fall asleep. I have to get to school. What time is it? How long was I asleep?

I sat up quickly, searching for my phone and praying I hadn't been asleep long. My heart was racing at this point.

God, how could I let myself do this?

"It's only four AM."

Now another reason my heart was racing. My head turns to the sound of Y/n's voice to see her leaning against the car seat, her knees pulled up to her chest.

I put my heart over my chest, letting a sigh fall from my mouth. "You scared me."

She gave a small, barely noticeable smile in response. It went away as soon as it came, going back to her expressionless face. This wasn't her usual resting face though. Her eyes were half open and her eyebrows slightly pushing together. The corners of her mouth pointed downward in a subtle way. Her eyes finally shut, squeezing for a moment before relaxing again.

I sat up fully, furrowing my eyebrows at this. I wasn't sure what was happening, but it worried me. "Are you okay?"

A second of silence went by. At first I didn't think she was going to answer or she didn't hear me, but eventually she nodded and whispered. "Just in some pain right now."

I wasn't sure what to do. Or say. I wanted to help, of course I did, but I wasn't sure how. Every time I tried to say something nothing came out, but it was probably for the better. If I were to choose between looking like a fish out of water, opening and closing my mouth or saying something stupid she's probably heard a million times, I would choose the fish. Nothing was really good enough to say.

I wanted to help her though. I've only seen the daring, teasing side of her. This was something new I was just experiencing and I wasn't sure how to handle it. I've never been here with her when things like this got painful or difficult. There were a million things I could have done or said, but none of them were coming to mind.

The silence I left made me feel bad. I didn't want her thinking she made me uncomfortable or anything about the situation that was her fault. I just wasn't sure what to do. Every second that went by and nothing came out of my mouth made me panic more.

My thumbs pushed back on each other, eventually falling to the side and disconnecting. My eyes dropped to my hands, watching as I moved my fingers around the others in weird ways I couldn't explain. In that moment, something finally came to mind.

"Come here," I said nervously, beginning to lay back down with my hoodie under my head like a pillow. She opened her eyes, giving no sign of moving from her spot. "Lay your head on my stomach. I promise it helps."

She stared at me for a moment, making me panic even more. Did I just embarrass myself? Did this come off wrong? Maybe the silence was the better option.

The anxiety calmed down a bit though when she slowly moved toward me until she was sitting next to me like earlier. Hesitantly, she laid down and placed her head on my stomach, staring up at me before closing her eyes.

"My mom used to do this with me when I was sick." I spoke quietly. A smile formed on my face at the nostalgia. "She'd run her fingers through my hair and tell me stories that made both of us laugh."

I was caught off guard when a hand grabbed mine, pulling it down and placing it on the head resting on me. My eyes widened in surprise, staring up at the blankets above me. The familiar feeling of heat in my chest and face came back. I couldn't dismiss it as the heater this time, I was nowhere near it.

Nervously, my thumb rubbed her covered head, even if she couldn't feel it through her beanie. My heart couldn't calm down tonight. Every time I felt it slow down again, something happened to make it speed up. It's just the nervousness. I haven't been in a situation like this before. I snuck out for the first time (willingly, at least), I'm supposed to be in school in a couple hours, and I'm seeing a new side of Y/n. It's nothing more than the anxiety.

"What's going on?" I asked, attempting to change my point of focus.

She replied softly. "I'd rather not talk right now."

I nodded though she couldn't see me. "Okay." I whispered. She was in pain, it was understandable.

Closing my eyes, I focused on my thumb and the patterns it was feeling beneath it. I was trying my best to stay awake and calm, but it seemed I could only be one or the other. Mind racing with new thoughts every second or sleeping in the dim, silent, warm room. The second option was very tempting, but I couldn't let myself fall asleep again.

"Migraines and nausea though." Y/n stated simply before returning back to silence. She was answering my question from a couple moments ago.

I nodded again, thankful for something she didn't have to do. "Okay." Was all I said.

The room fell back to stillness, only the sounds of our breathing and the quiet hum of the heater filling the small space.

This moment made me grateful I came. It was a nice feeling. The two of us in silence together.

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline-  1-800-273-8255

Text options: text HOME to
US and Canada: 741741
UK: 85258
Ireland: 50808

YouthLine: text teen2teen to 839863 or call 1-877-968-8491