The Final Goodbye
Grandpa, you were the kindest most loving human being I've ever known. You've always been there. Every time. Everywhere.
You were there when I broke my leg when I was six. I didn't know how to ride my bicycle well and I was so strong headed I guess I got what I deserved.
You were there when I had my heart broken for the first time at seventeen. You drove several hundred miles just for me. I still remember how you drove me to my favorite ice cream shop. We got some chicken nuggets too. You stayed with me all night as I cried and rant. You held me right and I felt safe with you grandpa.
I remember how you were my date to the prom. Not because I didn't get date proposals, but because no one was worthy of it.
I loved you more than I loved my own parents. Mum and dad were loving too. Very understanding parents but no one is you. You are YOU. And only you could have pulled that off.
I remember that day. I remember it clear. Like it was yesterday even though it was years ago.
I was studying late at night because I was having my finals the next day. It was a hot summer night. My windows were open and the breeze blowing lightly made the curtains dance.
My fan was on, yet, it felt so hot it was unbelievable. You had this habit of texting me every night before my exams. It was a tradition of yours.
I sat there, exhausted and drenched in sweat. I was waiting for you text. I was unease by the fact that you text didn't come through.
And then it came. I rushed to check my phone but it wasn't your text.
"Call me now" the text read from an unknown number. My heart was beating fast and with shaky hands, I dialed the number.
Three words. Three words were said and everything went silent.
"Grandpa is dead"
You are dead I echoed. I didn't believe it. So I called mum. Same thing was said.
I couldn't stand it. Everything. And then suddenly, it started raining. Out of nowhere. I could swear it was too hot to have rained.
I collapsed. And as the rain fall, so did my tears.
I couldn't sleep. At all. I booked the next flight to you and I ran. I ran and ran and ran until I reached home.
I barged in and when I did, every eye was on me. I couldn't believe it. I couldn't believe what my eyes were seeing.
Andrew and Andrea stood there, frozen. Bunch of useless siblings they were.
There you were. Laid. Peacefully. You had a nice resting expression. As if you were at peace. And then came the tears. I sobbed. Bowled. I couldn't take it. My heart was burning. It was on fire.
Why? Why ?!? Why you? Why YOU out of all the people on earth. Why not the addict Andrew? Or sorry of an excuse sister Andrea? I was mad.
I was super mad I ran to my old room. When I got there, my dress was on the bed. I was even more furious. I just got here and they're ready for the funeral? I was so mad I cut the dress into piece. Screaming in the process.
Mum got me another one same time. They didn't give me time. To mourn. To even say goodbyes.
It didn't really sink in until you were lowered. In to the grave. It was then that it really did hit me.
You were gone. Forever. It was then that I realized how much I wanted you to stay. I wanted to say goodbye. I was so mad at myself. I didn't even know you were sick. No one did.
I thought we were best friend. I miss you so much. You really are gone huh? I can't see you again. I still cry my self to bed. Even though it's been seven years.
I was so bitter. I hated everyone. Dad wanted to move you things out of your house. Grandma didn't. Andrew was caught drinking. Andrea was gone like always.
Mum was trying so hard to hold it together. She is a strong woman. And I don't blame her for anything but I was still mad at everyone.
But that was then. I'm your grandchild after all. I can't hold onto the bitter side of me. You taught me to be forgiving. It was nobody's fault. It was just your time to leave.
I think I was just too blinded by the rage and sadness to even see that. Thank you grandpa, for everything. You taught me to be a very honest person. And I love you. This is my final goodbye. Rest In Peace. Goodbye.
