The Last Time
I didn't know the last time I saw you will be the last time. I thought I'll see you again. And again. In the morning when you come to work. In the evening when you're leaving and bid me goodnight. I didn't know it'll be like that.
I always thought you were a good man. You are, I just didn't know that you couldn't even tell me. Or even say goodbye. I remember the last time I saw you. You were sitting with Helen and Zach. Now that I think of it, you were sitting quietly unlike your usual self. I didn't talk to you because I was so sure I'll see you the next day. Or even later.
I didn't know I won't see your smile again so I just went my way thinking you'll be there when I get back. But you weren't. When I got back, you weren't there. I didn't give it much thought.
In the morning, I was expecting you. But I didn't see you. I haven't seen you for three days till last night. It was shocking. You were right there just yesterday. And you're gone today. I was shocked. Sad. Mad. Angry. I just don't know what to feel.
Was I not worth a goodbye? Was I so not important that you couldn't tell me? The 7 years we've known each other, it meant nothing to you? Was it so hard? To say goodbye? And tell me that you're not gonna be there the next day?
Couldn't you have at least give me signs? That you were leaving me? Leaving us? I don't even know what to feel. I've known you for so long I can't imagine my life without you. Doing my usual chores. My usual routine without you there to tease me. Make me angry and wiggle your index finger in my face.
I'm sorry. For not being your friend enough. I'm sorry. I really wish you could come back. At least, just once so I could say goodbye. Wish you good luck wherever you might go. I'm sorry, I didn't know it was the last time.
