Midnight Thoughts.

I Loved Your Soul

I Loved Your Soul

I didn't just fall in love with your smile, or your hair or your beautiful eyes and features, I fall in love with your soul. I loved your soul. I loved you so dearly I still couldn't move on. Even after 4 years of your death, I still see you in my dreams.

I still can feel your touch, I can still smell you in my sheets. You're imprinted deep in my mind and soul. You were- no, you are my soulmate. You my everything. My sunshine, my moon and stars and everything in between. I loved you to the moon and back and with every single drop of blood that my heart bumps in me. i loved you more than you'll ever know.

You were the most beautiful thing that has ever happened to me. You were crazily energetic and sarcastic but I loved you way way more than you'll ever imagine.

You said we'll leave this place and go to heaven together, but I guess some dreams don't come true. You told me once, that dreams that will one day come true aren't real dreams and I guess that's true.

Some days, I'm ok, but other times, it hurts when I'm alone because the loneliness comes in waves. It's so empty where your head use to be. I still wonder how I'm holding on.

It hurts so much waking up to an empty bed. I'll wake up and still see your side untouched and it hurts even more trying to move on. I just don't know how to do that. I'm hurting everyday. By God, i feel like taking my life but I just picture you scolding me for even thinking in such a cowardly way.

I miss you. I miss you so much Susan. Life without you isn't worth living. I'm dying a thousand death everyday. I can't do it.

I want you back. I miss your scent, I miss everything about you. I wish you could come back. Just this time. Just one more time. One more time so I could hug you for the last time, kiss you one more time and tell you how much I love you. Just one more time.

I hope and pray with all of my heart that you Rest In Peace my beloved flower.