The Forbidden Chaos

THIRTY-TWO

*sensitive content(abortion)*
•THIRTY-TWO•
Matthew

Two months later

It hurts.

To Amara, everything seems okay. The Dean and Zion have both been arrested. I could see hope in her eyes, thinking we could get back together.

But it can't happen.

I want nothing more than to pull my beautiful girl into my arms. I can't sleep without her, I can barely breathe without her.

But it's still too risky.

Especially with Suzie, one of the professor's at the university, breathing down my neck. She's already tried to ask me out a couple times on a date in which I've had to politely decline.

She seems to be everywhere I go and if she saw me with Amara twenty-four seven then she would get suspicious.

It hurts acting so cold towards my Mara in the hallway every time I see her.

We have four months left before she graduates and at first I thought I would be able to keep acting like this, pretend that this was what best, but it feels wrong.

I'm hurting her.

I've seen her a few times on campus and I can tell she's not herself and it worries me.

The more I think about it, the more I realise how wrong I was for acting this way towards her. I should have gone about it better.

She doesn't deserve to be treated like this.

"What are you thinking about?" Nathaniel questions as he walks into my home office.

"Amara." I simply answer and he slowly nods his head, taking the seat across from me.

"The Dean got twenty-five years and that Zion kid got ten." He informs me and my eyes widen.

"I can't thank you enough for your help, Nathaniel. These past few months have been so stressful." I run my fingers through my hair.

"It's nothing. Look maybe you should go for a walk, clear your head. If you're not at the university you're always cooped up in here, it's not healthy, Matthew." I sigh, knowing he's right. "I also think you ignoring Amara wasn't a good idea either, you've been a lot more moody since you ended things with her."

"We didn't end things, we-we're taking a break." A horrible fucking break. "I miss her." I bite my lip and tilt my head back, looking up at the ceiling.

"Then stop torturing yourself and go and see her. Life's too short to be fucking around like this, those idiots are in jail, what are you afraid of?" He throws his arms up in the air.

"I'm worried about other people noticing, accusations have already gone around once. Then I have one of the professor's trying to ask me out on a date every second she sees me. I thought if we just waited until Amara graduates everything would be okay." I stress.

"And is everything okay?"

"No! I miss my girl, she's all I fucking think about, she invades my mind twenty-four seven. I've been an absolute idiot towards her and I don't think it's something she could forgive me for. I don't deserve her." I release a shaky breath after my outburst and look at Nathaniel.

He looks at me with a small smirk.

"What's the woman's name?" I furrow my eyebrows at his question.

"Nathaniel, she doesn't need murdering." I reply sarcastically and he chuckles.

"Don't be stupid, you idiot. What I'm saying is, I am the better looking one out of the two of us-" I scoff at his words, "-I'll steer her away from you."