Our Scars

Out Of Bounds

36

Out Of Bounds (Title by Amanda Marshall)

Jay hit the steering-wheel in frustration. After that second agonizing high-pitched scream of hers to pull over, he had been afraid Rianne would maybe jump out of the moving car if he didn't listen. So he had quickly pulled to a stop, she had gotten out in a haste and made it crystal-clear that she didn't want him to follow her.

After taking a few deep breaths himself he'd resorted to driving behind Rianne at a snails pace, watching her stomp further up the road through the white masses, breathing out clouds of warm air into the night sky. Jay was thankful they weren't on a speedway.

He was sure it hadn't just been their argument that had gotten her so upset all of a sudden. They had been fighting at full speed, the streets dangerous and slippery with all that snow. It must have caused the exact kind of flash-back for her he had wanted to avoid. For once trying to keep himself in check his plan had been to have this conversation at home. He knew it had been bound to end in some kind of fight, so he had wanted her to be somewhere she felt safe. At least he hoped she still did feel safe with him now.

Jay feared he might have made things worse by going off on her like that. But there was no way he could have been able to control his temper when she had shown him that picture. Of course it had been a dick move on Nate's side, although not so surprising. That guy was a head-case and not playing a fair game.

"Do you need the drama though?"

Hailey's words rang in his ears.

What was up with his partner laying into him like that? Maybe not so surprising at all, given the fact something like this had been Hailey's fear when she had talked to him about Rianne at Molly's that one night. Or it was Hailey's concern in general that his big heart got him into trouble most of the time and he wasn't really looking out for himself.

Before he could decide on how to put a handle on things and make Rianne get back in the car with him, he saw her come to an abrupt halt under a lamp post. She was waiting for him to catch up. When Jay stopped the car beside her the door was jerked open. He saw that her make-up was a little smudged, implying she had been crying. Right now though she had built her walls up so high, that he didn't dare to comfort her or say that he was sorry. Jay also was undecided for what exactly he wanted to apologize and what he thought had been justified to confront her with.

"It's fucking freezing and I'm too tired to walk to the next 'L' station in this weather. So, could we agree to put a stop to this argument until we get home and you not driving like a maniac?" Rianne asked and waited on his agreeing nod before she got in.

Seated then she looked straight out of the passenger window, making it clear she indeed wanted to put a stop to this and not talk at all. So Jay kept quiet too, clinging to the hope the word "home" out of her mouth elicited in him.

Upon their arrival Rianne headed straight for the freezer, making a lot of noise opening and shutting doors. A boiling volcano waiting to explode. That fuming version of her, upset, angry, he could deal better with than sad, desperate and panicky.

She grabbed a bag of frozen mixed vegetables and slapped them onto his bruised hand, not very lovingly and still shooting daggers at him with her eyes, but the gesture almost made him smile, despite the tense atmosphere. Even when mad at him she cared.

She went to shrug out of her wet jacket, shoes and socks and put the kettle on, tangling her wet hair into a messy bun. He could hear the wheels in her head turning. Jay found himself muted, his brain jammed up because he didn't know where to start, so he concentrated on his still aching hand, now getting shock-frosted.