Painless - House M.D

Mark

"FUCK! TARA, TIGHTER!" This sounds like something very sexual, but in truth, it was House's screams after their tiny and supposedly innocent cat scratched his face in the morning while he tried to put a sun-shaped e-collar around its neck. House at least succeeded and now Steve had a cute sun-shaped thing on him, making him look like a joke.

" Oh, sorry! I will take a look at those scratches to avoid scarring." Tara exclaimed, Steve, scratched him because she was almost crying at seeing their cat having to suffer from the bandage change and ended up letting go of him. Steve was now lying peacefully on her lap, just a little annoyed by having to use an e-collar.

" Stop crying, it's a bandage change, YOU OPEN PEOPLE UPON a DAILY BASIS!" House exclaimed after they finishing changing their cat's bandages.

" I can't operate on a relative, especially not on my own baby cat." Tara cooed at the cat, who started to purr and knead on her lap.

" This demoniac ball of fur tried to kill me, stop cooing at it." House muttered while his girlfriend fetched the first-aid kit. He complied when she pulled his hand and pushed him into the piano stool so that his face would be lower. His face ended up being at the same level as her breasts " But I do like the view, looks like I was sent to heaven."

" Shh, patients can't get involved with their doctors." Tara said with a small smirk, pulling his chin up to stare at the scratches " Steve is vaccinated, but it's very important to clean this up, he buries his shit with the same claws that scratched you. It's going to sting a little."

" Your boobs in a robe really take the sting out of it. Wait, the shit thing, you let the cat on our bed." House said with a small smirk and Tara smiled.

" Well, Mr. House, you don't need any stitches and it's a very shallow wound that won't leave a scar. The only lasting symptom will be that you look tough as hell with those scratches, but in a week it vanishes off." Tara said professionally and ruffled his hair, kissing the top of his head " The cat is a part of the package, you can have a very beautiful woman on your bed, but the cat has to come along."

House started to travel his hand over Tara's robe until it finally found its way to her breasts.

" We have work. " Tara muttered " You are the one who agreed to take care of Stacy's husband. Your patient is waiting for you. Plus, I have a piggyback transplant today."

" Piggyback? Pfft, doggy with me is way better."

" You are a dog."

_________________________________________

Late as always, House entered his office and found his ducklings already there. Cameron was up next to the whiteboard, Foreman was eating his cereal and Chase was sitting over the table.

" Morning. You guys got the file? What's wrong?" House asked the team, the only thing written on the board was Mark's name.

" Previous tests revealed nothing that would cause abdominal pain or the mood swings," Cameron answered.

" Then we're done! What do you think, ball game, zoo? I don't care, I just want to hang with you guys." House said in his usual sarcastic way.

"What about drugs? His tox screen on admission showed a massive amount of chloral hydrate." Chase suggested.

" Yeah, sorry, that was me. I had to dope him up to get him in here. Guy doesn't think he's sick." House turned down the possibility of drugs.

"Who does?" Cameron asked.

"His wife." House said truthfully.

"The woman you used to live with. What happened to your face ?" Cameron inquired