Painless - House M.D

Hiring

"He's just bored." Tara said to Cuddy while they had lunch at a restaurant near the Hospital.

" He wanted me to let him hire more personnel, I let him. Now it's just him and Chase doing nothing but starting betting pools around the hospital all day. They end up with thousands of dollars every week from so many bets." Cuddy complained " He visited Foreman?"

" We did. Actually, I forced him to. Foreman was all happy and optimistic, like a bubble of sunshine ready to explode into glitter all over the place, creeped us out." Tara commented with a bewildered expression on her face "His brain is recovering, still mixes up some words when talking too fast and confusing left from right."

" He is down one doctor and I'm letting him hire two more."

" His department is understaffed." Tara defended her husband " I mean, I have 25 doctors under my watch and I'm not counting residents and interns."

" Because your department is famous and brings money. Your department currently has how many patient's?"

" More than I can count. Don't worry, let me deal with Greg." Tara admitted " Some of them are just ER operations, some are plastic surgery patients and some are post-op. By the way, have you seen penis-guy?"

" What?" Cuddy asked with a laugh.

" We gave him 3 inches."

" What?"

" Yep. Penis augmentation with a prosthetic bomb. I made an intern test the bomb."

" How exactly do you test the bomb?" Cuddy asked, preparing to laugh.

" Squeezing the testicles." Tara said before laughing " Patient had a micropenis. Explains why he was such an asshole."

" House's an asshole."

" But he exhales big-dick energy." Tara commented "He's so confident and sarcastic. It's sexy."

" Unfortunately, I have to agree. Since you entered the testicles topic, remember that I've been looking for a sperm donor?" Cuddy asked as she grabbed her oversized purse to look for something.

" Yeah. Gimme the options." Tara said with a smile as she took a sip of her lemonade

" I've marked my favorites and I'd like your opinion. You can brainstorm with House." Cuddy handed her an envelope.

" Most people have babies with complete losers and the child turns out okay." Tara commented " Really? Do they even say where the person graduated and their GPA? Woah, they say people's favorite food too."

" I wanted someone from an Ivy league."

" You are overthinking this, Liz. You can't control which college your kid is going to by choosing a Harvard daddy." Tara commented "Do you know who chooses people based on physical attributes? Tip, you are Jewish and your people hate the guy."

" All parents want beautiful, smart, and angelic kids." Cuddy shrugged.

" I will brainstorm this tonight with Greg and update you. By the way, he said his genetics consult for your baby daddy won't be free, he wants no clinic duty for one week."

" Three days and it needs to be a very good donor."

" I will present your proposition to my client."

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After getting back home and having sushi for dinner, Tara and House were both analyzing the files Cuddy gave her during lunch.

" It's weird choosing the guy whose jizz will go up her inside a turkey baster." House commented, making Tara laugh. The pair was looking at files sprawled on the floor of their living " This one is a moron."