Chapter 16

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16

"I was still sleeping" I yawned. Early in the morning, ginising ako ni kuya. "Hindi ba pwedeng mamaya nalang?" tanong ko pa.

"No Ky, we need to talk about it right now, c'mon get up" hinila niya pa ako para maka-upo sa kama.

"Ano ba yun?" I rubbed my eyes para magising ng tuluyan. Tinignan ko siya and he is serious. "Ka-aga-aga" pag-simangot ko pa sakanya.

"Ky, this is serious" sagot niya at tumango naman ako. He took a deep breath before speaking. "Mom and Dad wants to talk to you, and I know you're still not ready so I told them that I will deliver their message to you, and I want no violent reactions from you, I want you to take this seriously and do not overreact Ky, I want you to think about it" he explained. I was hesitant to nod.

If it's anything about my family, I can't help to overreact because I'm panicking when I heard something about them.

"No matter what you say or what you think, they already forgive you Ky, you can't escape that fact, you just need to accept it" napalunok ako sa sinabi niya. I know that, but I cannot forgive myself for what I did. "They only want what's better for us, for our family, you can blame them but you need to know that it's okay to forgive yourself and forget everything, it traumatized you, yes that is valid, but it's time to let go of the past."

I can't figure out kung ano ang sinasabi niya, I cannot connect the puzzles.

"Ano ang pinupunto mo?" tanong ko and once again, he took a deep breath.

"Ky, they want to get you, they want you to study abroad–" I cut him off at mabilis na umiling.

"No kuya! I cannot do that, no I can't rely on them that's–" he cut me off too, hinawakan niya ang magkabilang braso ko ara pakalmahin ako.

"You promised me, Ky this is for the better, you know it yourself, this opportunity will change your life, I know how much you are trying to forgive yourself but now is the time, you don't need to see them, you just need to follow them and go to abroad" seryosong sagot niya pero umiling ako.

"No kuya, it's not for the better, I'm already enjoying my life here, why now?" I started to tear up, just thinking about leaving makes me want to burst out. What about Ethan? My friends? "I don't want to leave...I don't wanna leave Ethan.. Kuya, I know I don't have the rights to be selfish but I'm already happy here, so please? I can forgive them, please! Just don't sent me away, don't let me be separated with him, you know how much I love Ethan, please, I'm begging?" I cried out. Kuya sighed.

"Ky, you have the rights, but please hear me out hmm? Stop crying" he hugged me and patted my back. "I know that your attachment to him is strong, but what about mom and dad? You don't know how badly they want to be with you, to be close to you again" Natigilan ako sa sinabi niya.

I never know that my parents would want that...again. But, after all they're still my parents, blood and soul.

All this time, I'm being selfish for not talking to them...for not reaching them out...what am I doing?

"I know this is a hard decision, but as your kuya, I want you to go" tinignan niya ako sa mga mata and I can see that he is not going to make me choose. "I want what's best for you, and you know that, I'm not doing this for you and Ethan be separated, i'm doing this for you Ky, only for you" he added and I stopped crying.

This is hard yes. Just thinking about going away makes my heart ache, this is not fair, how am I supposed to choose? But...

"Kuya... if you want what's best for me, don't you want me to stay? I can't leave my friends, especially my boyfriend, please? You know how much bright I am when i'm with him, I'm already contented, please support my decision? Tell them I don't want to?" I tried to talk it out, dahil ayaw ko talagang umalis, not now kung kailan nahahanap ko na ang peace ko.

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